Frightening Celeb Photo of the Day

Take a gander at this person and try to guess who it is:






Is it: a) Dita Von Teese, age 35

b) Bebe Neuwirth (age 50), possibly showing off her new witch's costume from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

c) a lesser-known offspring of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis going through a severe case of Hot Topic Fever, or

d) Evan Rachel Wood (age 20)?

If you guessed d), well, you're way cleverer than I am, because I had no idea who this was at first glance. Here's what Miss Wood, best-known for her lead role in the harrowing tweens-gone-amok movie 13, looked like before she sold her soul to beau Marilyn Manson:



Does she have parents? And does she realize she is now living the Kim Novak part in Vertigo?

It's The End Of The World As We Know It And I'm Doing Lines

I can't believe I'm spending almost all my blogging time these days writing about Marilyn Manson, but here I am, about to do yet another post about this guy. Why do the gossip gods hate me?

Anyway, the peeps at Gawker are speculating that a recent Page Six blind item is all about Marilyn Manson and Angelina Jolie. Here's the orginal tidbit from the NY Post:

WHICH Tinseltown sex siren with a humanitarian streak has resumed her old habit of dabbling with heroin? She paid a recent visit to an old rock star friend and joined him in narcotic stupor.

The Angelina Jolie part is pretty easy to figure out, but how did they get Manson? Weeeeelll, in today's Page Six, there was this:

Another Manson-watcher tells Page Six he's also close pals with Brad Pitt's paramour, Angelina Jolie - who caught up with the rock star when she was in L.A. a little over five months ago.

"They've known each other for a long time," said our source, "since she was way more wild than she is now - they are still good friends, though."

As any gossip-addict knows, it is kind of a tradition among gossip-mongers to give hints about a blind item rumor in a later (or sometimes even the same) column. And I, for one, am more than ready to believe that Angelina's baby weight didn't just drop off from breast-feeding and a strict diet of Cambodian broth, Brad Pitt's blood, and her brother's spit.

But I ask again: HOW DOES MARILYN MANSON DO IT? Surely there are plenty of other, more attractive people in L.A. to do drugs with. What is going on? Is it another sign of the apocolypse? After the sea turns red and the frogs drop out of the sky, do the movie actresses shoot smack with an asexual addict/former faux freak from Florida? (How about that alliteration, eh? But I digress.)

Only time will tell if this is, indeed, The End. Only time will tell...

Absinthe Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

Oooooooh, the plot doth thicken! According to People.com, Marilyn Manson has been cheating behind his wife Dita Von Teese's back with his new girlfriend--and I do mean girl-- Evan Rachel Wood, who starred in the harrowing coming-of-age-and-becoming-a-skank movie "Thirteen" and in the more recent "Running With Scissors" as the be-hotpanted naughty sister:

Rocker Marilyn Manson is romantically involved with 19-year-old actress Evan Rachel Wood, sources close to the situation tell PEOPLE.

The sources say his relationship with the "Thirteen" actress was a factor in the Dec. 29 divorce filing by Dita Von Teese, 34, Manson's wife of one year.

"Dita is heartbroken, she didn't see this coming," says a source close to the burlesque dancer and MAC cosmetics model. "His partying contributed to the split as well."

Manson, 38, and Wood have been friends for some time. According to his official Web site, Manson first met Wood when he asked her to be in his upcoming horror film, "Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll."

In addition, she posed for a watercolor that he painted, and attended the opening of his new Hollywood art gallery, the Celebritarian Corporation Gallery of Fine Art, last Halloween.

"It came as kind of a shock," Wood told Rolling Stone about being asked to pose. "I was beyond flattered."

OK, so let me get this straight: Marilyn Manson is 38 years old, as creepy as they come, is in career freefall, and he has been running around on his burlesque star/fetish model bride by spending all his free time partying with Lindsay Lohan (20 years old) and playing Professor Higgins to his very own Eliza Doolittle, Evan Rachel Wood (19 years old).

HAS THE WORLD FINALLY, AT LONG LAST, GONE COMPLETELY MAD?

How does he do it? Is he slipping spanish fly into their absinthe? Does he hypnotize them with his one black eye? Is there roofie dust in his face powder? Does he zombie-fy them with voodoo--are Lindsay Lohan and Evan Rachel Wood (and Dita Von Teese and Rose McGowan) the Walking Dead? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Where There's Firecrotch, There's Fire?

PROGRAM NOTE: Felt Up is experiencing some technical difficulties, so this post and others that follow may lack the usual boldface names, links, indentions, etc. Normally these kinds of setbacks are enough to make your humble blogette refuse to post anything and instead pout and carry on and not get out of her pjs until 4pm and eventually drown her sorrows at the bottom of a sweet, sweet bottle of scotch, but these are troubled times and we need tawdry, tacky gossip now more than ever. And I can still stay in my robe and get drunk, after all.

Sorry for the unprettiness!

BACK TO THE DIRT, ALREADY IN PROGRESS:

The ongoing drama in the Dita Von Teese/Marilyn Manson divorce has taken a ghastly new turn, as totally unverifiable reports are surfacing on the interweb that busy lil' appendix-free bee Lindsay Lohan may have contributed to the couple's marital woes. From Starpulse.com:

Dita Von Teese allegedly split from husband Marilyn Manson because she was sick of his constant partying and friendship with Lindsay Lohan. The burlesque dancer filed for divorce from the goth rocker last Friday citing "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for the split.

Now it has been revealed that Dita, who moved out of the couple's house before Christmas, decided to walk away from the marriage after growing tired of Manson's late night parties and refusal to settle down and start a family.

A source close to Dita told The Sun newspaper: "She just had enough of his wild partying. Lindsay Lohan was ringing up the house wanting to come round and party with him. The phone would go all through the night, with people constantly turning up to hang out. Dita wants a quieter life and to have a baby. She told Manson to sort himself out or she was leaving. Unfortunately, nothing changed and he didn't clean up his act."

It has also been alleged that Manson - real name Brian Warner - had become paranoid from drug use during the pair's marriage. The source added: "He became paranoid as a result of the drugs he was taking. At one stage he thought the cleaner was trying to kill him."
----



Oy vey. I KNOW La Lohan has terrible taste in dudes (see Valderrama, Wilmer) but for the love of sweet, tiny baby Jesus--MARILYN MANSON? Surely this can't really be true. However, I'm ready and willing to speculate wildly about this situation, as always. With Dita Von Teese, it wasn't too hard to see that she got a lot of press and money and so on and so forth from her relationship with him, and as a third-tier celeb, she needed that boost into the higher echelons, even if she had to sell her soul to do it. But Lindsay Lohan is already top-level famous, she sold her soul to the devil down at the crossroads back when she was but a mere gleam in her drunken father's eye, so what does she gain? Maybe their shared love of las drugas was what bonded them (although doesn't every single man, woman, and child in Hollywood love their cocaina and whatnot?)...Maybe she wanted to take a walk on the wild side--the horrible, skinny, revolting wild side. Maybe he's some kind of father figure for her (Just exactly how old IS he, anyway? When one affects the look of a grotesque, it is hard to pinpoint one's age.) OK, I'm out of ideas. This case just gets curiouser and curioser, people!

Stay tuned for more horrifying details as they emerge!

Von Teese Is Not Von Pleased

From the "Not Very Surprising File" comes word from Page Six that burlesque star Dita von Teese is about to serve her husband Marilyn Manson with divorce papers:

SHOCK-rocker Marilyn Manson is about to get one of the biggest shocks of his bizarre life - his stunning stripper-wife, Dita Von Teese, is dumping him after only a year of marriage.

Page Six has learned that the pasty-faced Manson, whose real name is Brian Warner, will be served with divorce papers today at a Los Angeles recording studio where he's working on his next album, with Von Teese citing "irreconcilable differences" in giving him the boot.

Sources say the raven-haired bombshell filed for the split right before Christmas, but Manson has been unaware of it because she couldn't get in touch with him.

"He's not been responsive," a friend said. "She loved him so much, but he has too many demons. He can't even communicate with her at this point. She tried to tell him she was divorcing him, but she can't even get him on the phone. She moved out of the house and he hasn't even noticed."

Friends say Manson had been boozing heavily last year, much to Von Teese's dismay, but she'd desperately tried to hold on. "She really tried to make this work," the friend said.

Call me old-fashioned, but I think it's kind of tacky to tell Page Six about your impending divorce before your husband knows about it. On the other hand, he is Marilyn Manson. I wonder if she had to sign a pre-nup? Stay tuned. This is going to get ugly, I just know it. Huzzah!