Frightening Celeb Photo of the Day

The only people more obsessed than me with Madonna's yucky vein syndrome are the British tabloids and The WOW Report, both of whom passed along this newest photo of Madge's disturbing claws:


(image via the uk daily mail)

Here's the full shot, so you can see the horror in context:



At first glance I thought she was clutching a scary wee dagger, but I think it's just a set of keys. That would have been kind of awesome, however...

(Second) Frightening Celeb Photo Of The Day

The WOW Report has a tidbit about Paris Hilton's ginormous size 11 feet, and it includes this horrifying close-up:




ACK! Those are some truly hideous clodhoppers! (Not to mention her bony old lady knees.) What is up with these celebs and their gross, disgusting veiny appendages?

Frightening Celeb Photo of the Day

Here's a little twist on the usual Frightening Celeb Photo of the Day schtick: This time, try to guess the identity of the celeb! Here's your (cropped) picture, via the UK Daily Mail:



Hmmm....disturbingly veiny arms, bulging biceps...could be Madonna, but the hair's all wrong.

Are you stumped? Too terrified to keep looking?

Well, too bad. Let's take a look-see at the full photo:





Yes, it's Sarah Jessica Parker! Once again, I'd like to point out that total lack of body fat can be quite scary, not to mention aging (I'm talking to you, Courteney Cox!), although I do think SJP's face looks ok in this photo.

As a special bonus, I'm going to throw in one yucky Madonna arm picture, just 'cause that's how I roll:



Eeek! How'd you like to meet those arms in a dark alley, eh?

Frightening Celeb Photo of the Day

The WOW Report, which dearly loves posting photos of Madonna's hideously deformed over-excercised hands/arms almost as much as your humble Felt Up blogette, just put up the "first 2008 closeup photo of Madonna's hand":



It's kind of like Groundhog Day. If Madonna's veins bulge bluish, there will be six more months of Pilates. If they bulge white, it's hot-room yoga until summer!

Frightening Angelina Jolie Vein Photos of The Day

Serioulsy, my peeps, whose hand/arm is the scariest of them all? Angelina Jolie's or Madonna's? I just can't decide! Both are totally terrifying!

However, today the question on at least one nation's lips is whether or not Angelina's extremely disturbing gnarled claws look worse than an old man's. The delightfully trashy UK Daily Mail helpfully compares Angelina's gross, ancient-looking crone hands in a vein-off with actual old person Clint Eastwood's--and no suprise here--Angelina loses!

She is more than four decades younger than him and has only one Oscar to his two.

But when it comes to bulging veins Angelina Jolie has the upper hand on Clint Eastwood.

On the set of their new film The Changeling, the actress, 32, displayed a pair of translucent, lined forearms and skeletal fingers that looked even older than the veteran film-maker's.

Check 'em out--can you tell whose arm is 32 years old and whose is 77?



Clint's is on the right!

And here's another view:



Angelina's veiny arm might make a scaaaaaary Halloween costume! Although being a pale veiny cylindrical thing might raise a few eyebrows. Or not, depending on your neighborhood....

Frightening Madonna Vein Photo of the Day

(image via The Daily Mail)

Frightening Celeb Photo of The Day

(images via the wow report)

Between Madonna's claws and Britney's exposed nether regions, I could pretty much just go back and forth with their scary photos forever. And who will stop me, eh?

MWAH HA HA!

Scary Celeb Body Part Pic of the Day

Yes, we've beent there before, but let's take another trip down Madonna's frightening arm sinews, shall we?



EEK! I am reinforced in my belief that strenuous exercise is always a bad idea.

Stars Can Be Vein

This seems to be the week for scary-looking appendages on female celebs. Today's gross-out pic is of a gnarled crone-like hand:


photo via dlisted.com)


But the truly shocking thing is that this cadaverous claw belongs not to someone in her 40s or 90s but to Ms. Katie "Trapped In The Closet With Tom Cruise" Holmes, who is 28! Ack!

Is she an exercise bulimic like Madonna? Is she on the mourning diet like Angelina Jolie (except instead of a dead mother it's the death of her career, sanity, freedom, self-esteem, and sex life that has sapped her will to eat)? Maybe she's been scraping at the bars of her cage for too long? Perhaps the zap of the e-meter has terrible vein-related side effects? IS SHE ACTUALLY DEAD AND BEING PORTRAYED BY A SCIENTOLOGIST ANIMATRONIC ROBOT WHOSE "VEINS" HAVE YET TO BE PERFECTED?

Victim of The Arms Race

Here's a scary picture of a gross celebrity body part:



Just goes to show you don't need to see a c-section scar in order to feel you're getting too much information about a star's body, huh?

So, whose arm is this, you ask? Well, it could only be one of two people, right? It's either Angelina "You're So Vein" Jolie or Madonna "Exercise Bulimic" Ciccone, but that arm is way too old, tattoo-free, and faux British pasty to be Angelina's.

So, chins up, dear readers! While Madge has the kind of toned physique that us mere mortals can never hope to achieve in a million years spent at non-stop-24-hour-a-day Beach Body Boot Camps, at least we know she has the back forearm of a monster! Doesn't that make you feel better about yourself? Sigh!

You're So Vein

It seems that Angelina Jolie has fallen victim to the dreaded Madonna Yucky Vein Syndrome; the odd thing is that this terrible affliction usually strikes exercise bulemics who are quite a bit, shall we say, more mature than 31-year-old Jolie. From the UK's Daily Mail via Gawker:

Working hard to keep her figure in shape is second nature for Angelina Jolie.

Unfortunately, she may have been working a little too hard.

The 31-year-old actress's punishing exercise regime has been blamed for leaving her with bulging veins in her arms, hands and even fingers.

Bulging veins in Angelina Jolie's arms and wrists are caused by too much exercise without a proper diet, experts say

Experts said they probably resulted from working out while not eating enough.

Steve Mongey, head trainer at the Virgin Active gym in Kensington, West London, said: "These veins can be caused by weight-bearing exercises.

"The body needs to pump oxygen into the veins for these exercises and this causes the veins to expand.

"If you don't keep your eating up and do a lot of exercise the fat gets stripped away and the veins become exposed."

Miss Jolie, pictured at a movie premiere in Los Angeles, is a self-confessed fitness fanatic.

As unattractive as sticky-outy veins are, I'm sure Angelina has got some reason to appreciate how easy it is for her to find a vein. Did I just say that? Oh, well, tra la la!