A Program Note

Dear Readers (Both of You):

As you may have noticed, someone has been remiss in her blogging duties lately, and that someone is your humble Felt Up blogette. I have no excuse other than the fact that I have been cruelly deserted by The Muse lately; somehow the Pete Wentz/Ashlee Simpson Hot Topic-meets-Alice In Wonderland goth-lite nuptials, the fact that a Starbucks barrista secretly put whole milk into Mary-Kate Olsen's nonfat lattes, even Britney Spears' bible vacation with Mel Gibson (!) have not inspired me to take finger to keypad. I am a teensy bit burned out on the gossip stories, my friends. I never thought it would happen to me, but it's true.

However, if for some strange reason you enjoy reading my ramblings, fear not. Felt Up is not dead, it's merely napping, like Lisa Rinna's facial muscles. When it wakes up, Felt Up may not take the exact form it does now; I'm thinking about retooling the whole concept to allow for more freedom about subject matter, and possibly combining my other two blogs (MySpace and Thrifty Cent) into one megablog where can I dump all my random thoughts and rantings. It's just a thought right now, but some day I hope to get financing to turn it into a notion, and then maybe, if I'm reallly lucky, an idea.

If you think you might enjoy reading about the day I spent in 1985 going to a comic book convention with Glenn Danzig, then by all means, keep checking back....if not, well, there may also be a post or two about my newly-acquired vintage Fonzie puzzle, or perhaps some photos of the newest wave of moths that have invaded my home, which gets more like Buffalo Bill's house in The Silence of the Lambs every day. And of course there will be the occasional gossip item--I'm not made of stone, you know!

Stay tuned!

Britney Free At Last

(image via the new york times)

And the roller coaster ride continues! But I'm not sure if this is happy or sad news! It could really go either way, people, because Britney Spears has been released from UCLA Medical Center and is free to do as she pleases, reports the L.A. Times:

Pop singer Britney Spears was released from a psychiatric ward at the UCLA Medical Center today after nearly a week of treatment.

It was unclear where she was going, but sources said she might head to one of her homes before seeking additional treatment.

Unlike the spectacle surrounding her trip to the Westwood medical facility last week, she slipped out with relatively little fanfare. A private security detail escorted her in contrast to last week when more than a dozen Los Angeles police officers escorted Spears to the hospital via motorcade.

Dear god, no telling what will happen next with this girl. Suicide attempts? Public fisticuffs with her father? Gator wrasslin'? And just wait until her sister has that baby! I just blew my own mind thinking about that one! Whew-ee!

RELATED: Us Weekly provides a helpful synopsis of Britney's tragic life that they excerpted from the new Rolling Stone cover story, which includes the following talking points: Her mother let her get breast implants when she was a still-growing teenager, her dad's an alcoholic, she desperately wanted to Slooty McSkank up her image when she was younger, Justin Timberlake found out about her affair with dancer Wade Dobson when he found a note from Wade backstage at "Saturday Night Live," and she's a bit nuts.

Not A Child, Perhaps Never To Be A Woman

This is both good and incredibly sad news, but Britney Spears is no longer legally in charge of her finances or any other aspect of her life, as a judge has granted her father Jamie Spears a temporay conservatorship over her affairs. According to Us Weekly:

Jamie Spears has won temporary legal control over his daughter, a judge ruled after a brief hearing Friday. He also has full control over her medical treatment.

Jamie has the power to restrict any visitors to Britney. He is also in charge of arranging 24-hour caretakers for her, as well as security.

In addition, the judge gave Jamie the power to cut off all of the singer’s credit cards and to prosecute any restraining orders on her behalf.

He also has full control of her residence and can legally remove anyone who is staying there. In addition, he has the power to keep Britney in California.

Jamie has control until the next hearing, which is set for Monday afternoon.

Perhaps understandably, Britney had more important things on her mind.

Britney Hospitalization V. 2--UPDATE

TMZ is now reporting that Britney Spears was taken to UCLA Medical Center rather than her former Cedars-Sinai pysch ward stompin' grounds, and has the following minor, but interesting, details:

Our sources say Britney said she was on Adderall, a stimulant used to treat Attention Deficit Disorder, and was taking up to ten laxatives a day. Side note -- cameras caught Spears a few days ago picking up a bagful of laxatives.

We're also told, when she was admitted, Britney accused her mom of "sleeping with my boyfriend." She wasn't specific on who she was referring to.

We're also told that for a time she was hurling profanities at her parents and staff.

Adderall is one of the "It" drugs of choice for celebs trying to lose weight, when they're not taking Rachel Zoe's horse pills, of course. So the poor thing was shoving fistfulls of A.D.D. meds and laxatives down her gullet in an attempt to make herself skinny...still don't see where this is unusual behavior. Ditto accusing her mom of sleeping with her boyfriend. Ditto "hurling profanities." This is Britney Jean Spears we're talking about, people! Par for the course, I say.

Developing!

Britney Loses Mind, Taken To Hospital On Gurney--Again

(image of Spears' peeps via People)

Lordy, ya'll. I'm sure most of you know by know that poor ole Britney Spears was taken by yet another police-ordered ambulence for yet another 72-hour hospital psychiatric evaluation last night. According to People:

Britney Spears was hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center for a psychiatric hold early Thursday morning, after being transported by ambulance from her Studio City home around 1 a.m.

An LAPD source tells PEOPLE: "Spears was escorted by police and is on her way to get help."

The singer, 26, was transported to UCLA for treatment and evaluation during a 72-hour emergency hold, known as a 5150.

"She went willingly. It was like something in her heart was telling her she should go. She knew something was wrong," confidant Sam Lutfi tells PEOPLE.

Police or a mental health professional can request one if a person is deemed to be a danger to herself or others. (Spears was held at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center on such an order earlier this month, following her Jan. 3 custody standoff with police.)

Spears's mother, Lynne – who's in the midst of a tense reunion with her daughter – friend Alli Sims and Lutfi were all inside the gated mansion when police and the fire department arrived.

What brought on the hospitalization? "She was driving around her neighborhood like a mad-woman," says a Spears family source. "Britney has been prescribed medication which she refuses to take. This is just another sad, sad evening."

Lutfi and Spears's father, Jamie, arrived at the hospital shortly after the singer. Her mother was later spotted leaving the Summit home with Spears's photographer beau, Adnan Ghalib, in the backseat.

Earlier in the night, Internet rumors claimed that the singer had attempted suicide, but Lutfi and Sims both denied those claims to PEOPLE.

Hmmm...this obviously doesn't sound like the whole story. Britney Spears was driving around like a madwoman and refused to take her meds? What else is new? That's just a Day In The Life for Brit-Brit. I bet something else happened...perhaps Angelina's pregnancy got her lil' mind to thinkin' about a stunt to get back on the cover of the tabloids? As I've said before, I cannot decide if she is genuinely mentally ill, a degenerate drug addict, or a master press manipulator hellbent on staying in the public eye at any cost. Or perhaps all three. So confusing!

I don't trust TMZ much for its accuracy (I know, it's not like People is much better, but in the pecking order of trashy celeb news outlets, People is like the Holy Bible compared to TMZ), but here's their account:

Last night, Britney's new psychiatrist went to her home and felt she was a danger to herself and others -- partly because of her reckless driving and partly because of her "downhill behavior." As a result, the shrink launched a plan (days in the making) to have Britney committed to UCLA Medical Center by calling the cops.

Sources tell us the cops knew it was coming. In fact, the plan was for cops and paramedics to take Britney away the night before, but it was scrubbed. Last night, it all went down according to plan. Cops even used code to minimize craziness in transporting Britney to the hospital. Over the police radio, she was referred to as "The Package."

Before the cops arrived, the shrink told her she was going back to the hospital and she offered no resistance. She said, "Is something wrong?" She made hot chocolate and waited. Her mom, Lynne, got extremely agitated, accusing Sam of engineering the impending commitment. We're told Brit told her to "shut the hell up." She demanded silence, sat on the floor and wrote notes to people who were there as they waited. When emergency personnel arrived, Brit went on the gurney without resistance.

When everyone arrived at UCLA, things got heated. Jamie Spears began screaming at Sam Lutfi, accusing him of trying to control Britney. We're told as far as the doctors are concerned -- at least for now -- Lynne and Jamie Spears are not calling the shots. The point guy for the docs is Brit's friend, Sam Lutfi.

Sources say after Britney's commitment earlier this month, she was extremely upset at her dad for getting angry at Sam and the hospital staff. Britney had lawyers draft several documents, however, we're told she did not sign a durable power of attorney giving Lutfi the power to make medical decisions on her behalf. Nevertheless, something was signed and doctors are going to Lutfi for guidance. Jamie went off on Lutfi in the hallway, accusing him of trying to control his daughter.

Britney has been calm in the hospital, even getting a "cigarette break."

TMZ also posted a video of Britney's ambulance going to the hospital, which you can watch here if you really want to.

That image of Britney making hot chocolate and writing notes while she waited for the ambulance come take her away is rather chilling, for some reason. Shudder!

I'll update as much as I can...however I do have, like, non-Britney stuff I need to do today. I'll do my best!

A New Low

I feel weird even providing the link for this, but what the hell. Classy celeb news website x17 has photos from last night of Britney Spears' underpants--apparently stained with period blood--that they posted to prove she's not pregnant. I guess these pictures are NSFW, although I'm not sure why, since they're mainly just sad and kinda gross, if you're easily disgusted by ladythings, that is. (Somewhere a menstrual fetishist is having The Best Day Ever!)

I'm at a loss for words. I go back and forth, though, trying to figure out if she's a mentally ill drug fiend in desperate need of help, or if, like Michael Jackson and his carefully orchestrated nutsiness that helps keep the creditors at bay, she is actually a shrewd and masterful media manipulator intent on keeping her sister Jamie Lynn and her teen pregnancy off the front pages of the tabloids. I just can't decide!

Oh, and the Associated Press announced that they have written her obituary, just in case she ups and dies on us.

The Most Trusted Name In Non-News

Heh: CNN is live-blogging the Britney Spears child custody proceedings. Apparently K-Fed is sporting a mohawk.

Isn't there a war going on?

Chav A Nice Day

The UK Daily Mail is all in a tizzy over Amy Winehouse's full-on "chav" look:


(image via daily mail)

You know you're not doing so hot when Kelly Osbourne looks, in comparison, like a fresh-faced colleen off a milk farm.

However, as a Jordan/Katie Price fan, I'm all for chavettes on general principle. Just not sure if this is the sartorial direction Ms. Winehouse should be going...I blame Britney's beehive. Amy probs saw that and was all, "Oi, mate, time to dump the 'hive and my whole retro junkie look." Sigh!

A Bad Case Of The Hives

Gossipista Janet Charlton has a funny photo comparison of Amy Winehouse and Britney Spears' hairdos:


(image via janet charlton)

Apparently messy, bedraggled beehives are all the rage with the trainwreck set, although everyone knows Amy started it all. (I have actually seen quite a few girls in Austin sporting her look, which is pretty awesome. Kinda reminds me of all the 'tweens--perhaps even one whose named rhymes with "bumble Pelt Up progette"-- who used to run around wearing raggedy bustiers and pieces of lace in their stringy hair and ten thousand rubber bracelets on their wrists and "Boy Toy" belt buckles waaaaaaaaay back in the first paleozoic Madonna Era. It's amusing when it's such a blatant rip-off of a particular person's look.)

But I have to tell you, Britney, that that beehive is not doing your ratty ole weave any favors, girl!

A Spoonful Of Sugar Helps The Medicine Go Down

(photo via wired)

A ha! Experts agree with your humble Felt Up blogette that Dr. Phil is indeed a moron! CNN reports:

Dr. Phil's public brand of tough love sometimes makes him tough to love, particularly among mental health professionals who are accusing television's self-help guru of making an uncalled-for house call on Britney Spears this week.

Although Dr. Phil -- whose full name is Phillip McGraw -- announced Monday that he is shelving plans for a show on Spears' latest breakdown, some in the mental health community say just showing up at her hospital room last week was going too far.

"It's true people sometimes need to be placed under involuntary mental health treatment because they can't take care of themselves," veteran psychiatrist Dr. Jeffrey Sugar said of the 26-year-old Spears. "But there's a difference between being detained involuntarily for psychological treatment and being forced to endure Dr. Phil involuntarily."

Spears, who appeared to have enough trouble already, saw McGraw barge into her life Saturday when he showed up at her room at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center as she was about to be discharged. She had been taken there Thursday after an hours-long standoff with police that was triggered by her custody dispute with ex-husband Kevin Federline.

McGraw said he was invited to the hospital by Spears' family.

Sugar, chief of child and adolescent psychiatry, crisis and emergency service for the University of Southern California, said that isn't good enough. Late adolescent or not, he said, Spears is still an adult who has the right to decide who she lets into her hospital room.

I really love Dr. Jeffrey Sugar--not only does he speak the truth, but he's got an awesome name. I can just hear the intercom at the hospital where he works (and in my mind, it's a Pee Wee Hermann voice, of course): "Paging Dr. Sugar. Dr. Sugar you are urgently needed in the cafeteria." I could, of course, make a "pour some Sugar on me" joke here, but decorum prevents me from doing so now.

PS: Britney spoke with a British accent while she was in the hospital, according to Us Weekly.

Live Through This

Oh, the circle is unbroken, by and by lord, by and by: Having just posted a photo of Courtney Love, now I come to find (via defamer.com) that Miss Love has a (what else?) stream-of-consciousness-style blog post on her flashing-light-and-butterfly-heavy MySpace page that deals with Our Lady of Perpetual Insanity, Britney Spears:

nuthouse

man was that truly neccessary? Poor thing, i didnt need to see all that fecal matter on the walls but Thaliens at Cedars is obviously loads nicer than Bellevue- shes takingt far too much adderol, thats what ive heard and what appears to be the issue to me wich is by the way none of my fucking business.or ours.
I hope she gets a smoke soon, they dont let you smoke for 72 hours on a 5150, its blows for her, and i feel bad for her , really really bad for her- i came in as an outsiderso i didnt come in as a sweetheart, its slightly easier for me, i was never a good girl,l its still sucks ass, but oh whatever....nevermind.bless i hope people stop hurting on her.
xxc

I'm no scholar, but I think she's trying to say that a) Britney is in bad shape, b) Courtney can relate, and c) Britney is possibly taking more than the recommended dosage of Adderall. Maybe. I could be wrong, though. Hard to say...

Phil 'Er Up!

(photo via tmz)

Ha! Just as I suspected! Poor sadsack Britney Spears was not so insane as to invite Dr. Phil into her hospital room and was instead practically accosted by him. Girl is crazy--but not that crazy! Apparently her equally deranged parents sicced him on her, TMZ reports:

People on the 7th floor at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center say the doctor arrived about 7:30 AM Saturday. We're told Britney did not invite him in; she didn't even know he was coming. Sources say it was Brit's parents who told Dr. Phil to go to the hospital. When he walked into her room, we're told, a blindsided Britney walked out -- and eventually came back.

Sources say Phil tried speaking with Spears for about 15 minutes -- not an hour as Dr. Phil's press release states -- but she wanted none of it. We're told Phil was doing almost all the talking. As for walking with her to the car on her way out -- again, as his release states -- we're told if he was walking behind her, that's news to her. She absolutely was not accompanied by him.

Sources say Dr. Phil somehow convinced Brit's mom and dad to be on his show, which will tape Monday and air Tuesday (it was just moved up a day), but as one person put it, "Based on the interaction between Dr. Phil and Britney this morning, it'll be a cold day in hell before Britney goes on his show." We're told she absolutely will not appear on the program.

Dr. Phil is scaring me. He needs to move away from the spotlight for one measly second and leave this girl alone. If he was doing this out of the kindness of his heart, he wouldn't be trying to book her and her entire family on his lame tv show! But I guess I shouldn't take this to heart. As he himself likes to say, "If you're gonna be stupid, you gotta be tough!" Whatever the hell that means! Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

How much do you want to bet that he manages to get Jamie Lynn up there to give birth via live video feed on his show? If he can't get Britney, he'll get the next best thing...

PS
If you look at the Urban Dictionary entries under "Dr. Phil," this is what you get:

1.	dr.phil
	Dr.Phil is a daytime talk show host who is a disgrace to America. He constantly pretends to help people, everyone who appears on his show is most likely an actor. Is full of lifetimish quotes and sayings off Hallmark cards. "I went to the counselor today, and she didn't even help, she's such a Dr. Phil!" permalink: del.icio.us Send to a friend your email: their email: send me the word of the day (it's free)
2.	dr.phil
	A day-time idiot brought to you by Harpo, Oprah spelled backwards! Dr. Phil, widely known for his southern speak, simple-minded advice, knack for making people cry, and bald head, can be viewed right before Oprah. Dr. Phil's favorite hard-hitting question is "What part of you don't you understand?". tags tard loser nutty entertaining laugh-out-loud-stupid
3.	Dr.Phil
	A hypocritical moron with a hit show brought to by HARPO! THE MAKERS OF OPRAH! The show usually features Dr.Phil making someone cry, advertising for his latest weight loss book which he should consider reading and other things one step up from Jerry Springer but less funny. Dr. Phil is a bald, creepy, douchebag. I vomited all over the couch after seeing a commercial for the show.

Sometimes I really love the Interwebs...

A Bitter Phil To Swallow

(photo via veckorevyn)

Here's some more info about Dr. Phil McGraw's interaction with poor ole Britney Spears today, who surely didn't need the aggravation. From the Associated Press via the New York Times:

Television's ''Dr. Phil'' McGraw said Britney Spears was released from a hospital Saturday but still needs psychological help, the syndicated programs ''Entertainment Tonight'' and ''The Insider'' reported in a press release.

The troubled pop star was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center by paramedics Thursday night after police were called to her home because of a dispute involving the two sons she had with ex-husband Kevin Federline.

''My meeting with Britney and some family members this morning in her room at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention,'' McGraw told the programs.

''She was released moments before my arrival and was packing when I entered the room. We visited for about an hour before I walked with her to her car. I am very concerned for her,'' he said.

McGraw planned to talk more about Spears on his daytime talk show this week, the press release said.

What a godamned vulture Dr. Phil is! Circling around Britney's poor, confused carcas, trying to sink his talons in so he can boost his show's ratings. I can just see him ranting at her while she packed and then as he followed her out to her car: "Britney, sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right! The most you get is what you ask for! You're only lonely if you're not there for you! We teach people how to treat us! Sometimes you gotta give yourself what you wish you were getting from someone else! JUST SNAP OUT OF IT!"

Have you no sense of decency, sir? Bleh.

Dr. Phil Is A Moron

(photo via tmz)

Oh, Lord. Hasn't Britney suffered enough? From TMZ:

TMZ has learned that Dr. Phil paid a visit to Brit this morning -- and she could return the favor next week by appearing on "The Dr. Phil Show."

I can hear his "words of wisdom" now: "Girl, you just gotta SNAP out of it! Stop running scared and live a little! And BAM! You're completely sane and all your troubles are over."

I really hate Dr. Phil. Why does Oprah put up with him?

Free At Last!

(photo via entertainment tonight)

TMZ is reporting that Britney Spears has just been released from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, following an action-packed morning in which she apparently did what medical experts refer to as "pitch a fit." The hospital had her in a so-called "5150 hold" which means that:

She can be held against her will for a max of 72 hours, but if the hospital determines she is no longer a danger, they can release her before that.

Additional sources now tell TMZ Cedars absolutely made the decision on its own -- without consulting any of the lawyers in the case. We're told it is Cedars policy (and the policy of other California hospitals) to evaluate whether the "danger" has subsided at any point during the 72-hour hold.

It's only been two days and already this whole thing has totally exhausted me, and I'm just sitting here typing. Imagine how Britney must feel? And all the many, many lawyers...

Developing. Ad infinitum. Sigh...

Britney Still Nutso, Loses Visitation Rights

(photo via people)

CNN reports that Britney Spears has, unsurprisingly, lost the right to visit her children in the wake of what legal experts call her "totes freakfest" last night:

A court commissioner Friday gave sole physical and legal custody of Britney Spears' two little boys to ex-husband Kevin Federline and suspended the troubled pop star's visitation rights.

Commissioner Scott Gordon issued a ruling the day after paramedics hauled Spears away from her home after police had to intervene when she refused to return the children to Federline after a court-monitored visit. Gordon ordered another hearing to be held January 14.

People says that Britney is in a "72-hour mental lockdown" at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after being hustled out of her house on a gurney. Apparently the whole drama started after she locked herself and tiny child Jayden James (these names never fail to kill me!) and refused to hand him over to K-Fed/Fed-Ex.


(photo via access hollywood)

72 hours is a long time to wait for new crap in this case to emerge, but somehow I think we'll manage. How 'bout that Iowa caucus, huh?

Developing. Forever and ever!

Britney Loses Mind, Taken To Hospital On Gurney!

(photo via us weekly)

Lord, ya'll. This is craaaaazy! Britney Spears has finally lost what was left of her marbles. CNN reports:

Pop star Britney Spears was taken to a hospital for tests to see if she was under the influence of alcohol or drugs and for a psychological evaluation after police were called to her home Thursday night to mediate a custody dispute, a police spokesman said.

Spears appeared to be conscious as she was rolled out of her Studio City home on a gurney about three hours after police and ambulances arrived there.

According to The Associated Press, officers were called to Spears' house around 8 p.m. to respond to a custodial dispute with ex-husband Kevin Federline over their sons, 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James, Officer Jason Lee of the Los Angeles Police Department said.

By about 10:30 p.m., six police cars, two ambulances and a fire truck had entered the gated community that includes Spears' house. Several police cars were seen in the area earlier in the night.

Spears turned over the children around 10:50 p.m., Lee said.

The children were returned to Federline, who has primary legal custody of the two.

US Weekly screams:

Britney Spears went “completely psycho” as she was rushed to L.A.’s Cedars-Sinai Thursday, a source tells Usmagazine.com.

“They had to strap her down like a mental patient and she was going between laughing and hysterics,” the source adds, calling it “a total psychotic breakdown. She just went crazy."

(LAPD Jason Lee told City News Service that Spears appeared to be under the influence of an unknown substance at the time.)

Another Spears pal tells Us: "I guess she has good days and bad days - it's mental instability. All she has is to think of something sad and she goes crazy.”...

A hospital source tells Usmagazine.com that Spears has been designated a "special needs" patient, meaning "they have either overdosed or tried to commit suicide. So we go stay with these patients and monitor them constantly. We watch them so they don't hurt themselves and watch the people who come visit them to make sure they don't pass anything to them."

Here's the trashtastic video from US Weekly that is sure to be the Zapruder film of our lame generation:



WOW. That creepy smile on Britney's face in those photos of her in the ambulance are bone chilling! This all reminds me of that movie Frances, about the real-life actress Frances Farmer (played by Jessica Lange in the film) who was dragged away in a straight jacket and thrown into a loony bin against her will--except with no panties, of course.

Developing!

PS: A note to any celebs who might be reading this: If you feel like getting engaged, getting married in Vegas, divorcing your spouse, breaking up with your gay, firing a manager, even just eating an In-n-Out burger in your car, well, I think I can safely say that TODAY IS THE DAY. You could kill an escaped tiger with your bare hands and then parade around Beverly Hills in the bloody pelt and no one would give a crap. It's all Britney All The Time today, so get goin'!

Trouble In Paradise?

Who knows if this is true or not, but Life & Style Weekly is reporting that Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge, the Abercrombie-afficianado father of her child/possible statutory rapist have broken up:

“Jamie Lynn and Casey are NOT together. They’ve broken up numerous times, but he was her first and she kept taking him back," says the insider.

“They’re not dating now. He's really got nothing to offer this baby. He's a kid himself. They have no plans to get married."

"At this point, Jamie Lynn has asked her mom — and not Casey — to be in the delivery room with her.”

A rep for Jamie Lynn was not immediately available for comment.

This is so turning into a Lifetime made for tv movie, ya'll! Broken Promises, Tiny Brain: The Jamie Lynn Spears Story.

I wish I could muster up a bit more interest in lil' Miss Spears, but her elder sister has exhausted most of my trash/trainwreck-fascination reserves...

Chin Up, Britney It Could Be Worse! Well, Not Really.

According to Janet Charlton, this is what Britney Spears looked like right after she heard her lil' sis was up the pole:



All in all, rather apropriate, I think. Sigh.

Related: Jamie Lynn's baby daddy may be a statutory rapist--even in Louisiana! Discuss.

Big Fun Says Teenage Pregnancy: Don't Do It!

(photo via evil beet)

Just when you thought the Spears family couldn't possibly get any trashier without actually moving to the city dump and wallowing around like a bunch of ruttin' pigs, one of the young'uns up and gets herself a bun in the oven from some dude in an Abercrombie t-shirt. Just like Mary and Joseph, ya'll! From People Magazine:

Britney Spears's 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.

Nickelodeon, which carries her TV show Zoey 101, said in a statement: "We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."

Spears and her mother confirmed the pregnancy to OK! magazine, saying she was 12 weeks along and the father is Jamie Lynn's longtime boyfriend Casey Aldridge. Aldridge's mother confirmed it to TMZ.com.

In a completely unrelated story, the release of Lynne "Big Mama" Spears' book on childrearing tips has been postponed.

I wonder how Britney will react? Will she be excited for young Jamie Lynn's impending motherhood/doom? Will she become hysterical at the prospect of being upstaged by her possibly All About Eve-ish sister/interloper? OR WILL SHE SIMPLY KEEP DANCING AROUND HER HOUSE IN A BIKINI LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING?


(photo of Britney, lil' Jamie Lynn, and bitter brother in happier times via tee mix)

Just like Jamie Lynn, this story is developing...