Charo!

(image via guanabee)

Just an awesome picture of Charo for the hell of it.

(Friend of Felt Up Terri R.: Halloween idea!)

Quaids Claim They Are The Victims of a "Dead Person" Scheme. Naturally.

Soooo....Here's what Randy and Evi Quaid say the deal is with that stealing a house thing they've got going on. They have "exclusively" told TMZ that:

[S]omeone forged the signature of a dead woman named Ronda Quaid on a legal document back in 1992 ... and wrongfully transferred ownership of their house to a third party.

As we previously reported, the Quaids were arrested this past weekend -- for allegedly squatting on the property, located in Santa Barbara.

But the Quaids believe they had every right to be on the property ... and insist they can provide proof of the "dead person" scheme.

Evi says they showed up to the house this past weekend to simply perform two decades worth of cleanup and maintenance ... and also to hang a self-portrait (pictured above) over the fireplace.

We ran into Randy in L.A. yesterday, where he told us he's ready to fight it out in court, saying, "If you don't stick up for what's yours, and defend what's yours ... what are you?"

What are you, indeed?

Wow. Even though I'm quite disappointed that they didn't use a photo for the mantlepiece that incorporated Randy's enormous fur coat, I do think this apparent wedding photo/homage to American Gothic is the next best thing.

As for the "corpse conspiracy" explanation, I, for one, am very much looking forward to a nice, long criminal trial in which all manner of insane Quaid drama can be explored in a court of law. Huzzah!

The Quaids Crisis: More on Their Criminal Squatting Case

More details on the latest development in the ongoing, possibly never-ending Quaids Crisis!

To recap, famed actor Randy Quaid and his wife Evi were arrested Saturday and charged with felony residential burglary and misdemeanor entering a noncommercial building without consent after the current owner of a home in Santa Barbara called police to report squatters in his guest house. Apparently the Quaids once owned the house but it has been sold several times since they lived there, and they just kind of showed up and starting camping out there, without the consent of the latest owner. (Oh, and Evi was also charged with resisting arrest). TMZ reports:

[T]he owner of the home sent a realtor to the house after an alarm went off Saturday morning. We're told the realtor found the gate codes had been changed, security cameras had all been moved to face up, and Randy had carved his initials in the mailbox.

When the realtor went inside, we're told he found the place trashed -- dirty dishes in the sink, footprints everywhere and clothes that didn't belong to the owner were hanging in the closet.

The kicker -- the Quaids allegedly broke a $7,000 mirror that had been over the fireplace and, according to our source, replaced it with a photo of themselves.

Genius. Why not put up a photo of your crazy selves over the mantle? Please, oh, please, let the photo include Randy's insanely awesome fur coat!

Given their tendency to hang out in the arty West Texas town of Marfa, I sometimes wonder if the Quaids are living their lives like some kind of extended performance art piece, a la that new Joaquin Phoenix "mockumentary" I'm Still Here, except, you know, without any actual cameras rolling.

This Has All The Makings of An O. Henry Tragi-Comedy

Somehow I need to either a) come up with $200 to purchase this awesome yarn art Charles Bronson portrait for my mom's Christmas present (she is the original and possibly only Charles Bronson female fanatic).


(image via all the way emporium via regretsy)

I could sell my hair, but then she'd probably just get me a brush for Christmas.

Or I could b) learn how to do yarn art, pronto. How hard could it be? Actually, it looks pretty hard...

The Return of the Quaids Crisis!

(image via radar online)

Just when you thought it was safe again on the streets of America, Randy and Evi Quaid have gone on yet another weird crime spree. First it was "defrauding an innkeeper." This time, they stole a house.

Apparently they are accused of "squatting" in a home in Santa Barbara, California that they once owned many years ago, which has since changed hands twice. The current owner, who bought the house in 2007, called the police because they have been living in the guest house of his home without paying rent, plus they've somehow managed to cause $5,000 in damage.

According to TMZ, the official charge was "felony residential burglary and entering a noncommercial building without consent, a misdemeanor." Oh, and naturally that nutjob Evi "got slapped with an additional charge -- resisting arrest."

Since they'd been quiet for a while, I was afraid that the Quaids' days of criss-crossing these United States committing bizarro crimes was over. As Radar Online put it:

Randy and Evi Quaid are legends within the Santa Barbara legal system, a reputation that began when they used an invalid credit card to stay at a luxury hotel. They missed several court dates and Evi eventually pleaded no contest to defrauding an innkeeper. She is currently on probation.

They've also had several run-ins with the law in Texas where they also previously owned a home.

If Evi is on probation, then the resisting arrest charge will be pretty tricky to get out of--not to mention the felony burglary charge. But look at the creepy smile on her face in that mugshot--she doesn't have a care in the world. Huzzah! The Quaids are BACK.