Vampires Can't Hug Snoop Dogg*

Friend of Felt Up Terri R. sent in this totally insanely awesome and somewhat embarrassing video for the brand new Snoop Dogg paen to "True Blood"''s Sookie Stackhouse, "Oh Sookie":



Movieline provided a handy list of some of the best lines in the song:

“Oh Sookie / Come and play on my team / We’ll do it in the daytime / Bill won’t know a thing”

“Sookie / Take this mary jane cookie / and roll with the Dogg / Vampires can’t hug me”

“Try to read my mind / You might get wet”

“Choose big or lose big / I know all the spots / Then order you a gin and juice / at Merlotte’s”

“Sam ain’t a man / He done turned into a bitch”

“See Sookie, you should try some of this / You know I get more [bleep] than your brother”

“Bring your best friend, Tara / I got some real Eggs for her to eat / and these eggs come with a whole lot of cheese and greens” (WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN)

I also very much liked the line rhyming "true blood" with "true bud." And the dancers dressed like Sookie in her Merlotte's waitress uniform.

Huzzahs all around for Snoop Doggy Dogg and his rather unseemly carnal desire for a fictional character on a cable tv vampire show!

*I watched the video again after the sexy vampire-a-looza last night on HBO (thanks Friends of Felt Up Johnny M. and ReRe M.!) and realized it's actually "vampires can't HOOK Snoop Dogg," but I like it better my way.)

I No Longer Understand The World I Live In

Abandon all hope ye who enter here! First it was the Gulf oil spill disaster and now this unfathomable catastrophe for humankind. Because if this is the best that Padma Lakshmi can do, well, ladies, we might as well all just PACK IT IN:


(image via jezebel)

Yes, that's insanely beautiful Miss Padma from "Top Chef" with horrible ole DAVID SPADE. I know this is a cliche, but I really did just throw up a little bit in my mouth.

Maybe they're not on a date. Maybe he's pitching a new reality show to her called "Calling A Spade A Spade," in which he fights racial intolerance using "comedy" at Texas Hold 'Em poker tournaments while wearing a fedora and extremely terrible facial hair. That seems more likely, right?