Monday, June 15, 2009

Triumph of the Will

Since no one in their right mind ever reads The Austin American-Statesman, I thought I'd pass on this Michael Corcoran-penned recap of Triumph The Insult Comic Dog's comments during a press conference with, of all people, Alejandro Escovedo, Elvis Perkins, and Tift Merrit at the Bonnaroo Music Festival. Because I could listen to Triumph diss hippies all day...


Alejandro Escovedo had never heard of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog before today’s press conference with the Robert Smigel puppet..,Escovedo’s now a fan. Some Triumph highlights:

  • “This place has more stages than syphilis.”

  • “I saw alot of underarm hair at the Ani DiFranco set. I thought one woman had a Yorkie in a headlock.”

  • “On Monday this place will smell better… when it goes back to being a hog farm.”

  • Host Andy Langer said to Escovedo and Perkins, “Did you ever think you’d be on a panel with a dog?” to which Triumph exploded, “Tift Merritt is a very beautiful woman! How dare you?”

  • "Jimmy Buffett is here? This place really is eco-friendly. There’s nothing like recycled music.”

  • "Phish broke up five years ago, They could’ve played three songs in that time. The original script of the Gettysburg Address was ‘Four Phish songs and seven years ago.’”
  • “Is there anything that Phish fans can’t make out of hemp--besides deodorant?”

  • “So many Bruce Springsteen fans have come from New Jersey. You can tell because of the smell of weed mixed with Axe body spray.”

  • “It’s a different time. At Woodstock three babies were born. Here three babies were traded for a case of Dasani and a meat pie.”

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