Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Might Be "The Sopranos" Of Reality TV



Dude. Last night's tv-watching was awesome. First there was the season premiere of "Rescue Me," which is worth watching just for Tatum O'Neal alone. I read that this season they are going to do a "9/11-was-an-inside-job conspiracy theorist" story line, which could be great or annoying, I haven't decided. More Tatum! And more Gina "I Can't Believe She Has A Career After Showgirls" Gershon!

Then it was on to the continuing existential crisis that is "The Real Housewives of New York City," during which a) I started to feel sorry for Alex and Simon, b) Ramona and Mario acted like tiny wee children yet again during the Tennis Game of Sadness, c) my hatred of the Countess LuAnn quadrupled when she told a group of young girls at a Boys and Girls Club in Brooklyn that if they play their cards right, one day they might marry a count and become a pretentious rude bitch when they grow up and then informed one of them--at a self-esteem seminar--that she needed to lose weight in order to become a model, and also said that one of the things she likes about herself is her "likability" and d) I realized that from certain angles, Bethenny "Skinny Girl" Frankel looks a bit like Roddy McDowell in Planet of the Apes:


Bethenny


Cornelius

And best of all, there was a preview for "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," which may turn out to be the most fascinating of the "Real Housewives" shows to date, even trumping the ladies of Atlanta. First of all, in a stunning break with tradition, several of the main housewives are related to each other! There are two sisters and their sister-in-law. This changes the dynamic considerably. Also, at least one husband, and possibly everyone on the show, is connected with the Mafia. They've got the best (ie worst) accents, best (ie worst) McMansions, and they are all total mooks and mookettes. Plus the ones who are related run a giant special events center so we may get to see tons of over-the-top Jersey weddings to boot! I am fit to be tied. How can I wait until May for this show to start wowing me?

Here is a wee introduction to the lovely housewives, via People:

Jacqueline Laurita: A former cosmetologist, she is now a stay-at-home mom, but still loves to pamper herself. She has a teenage daughter from her previous marriage and a 6-year-old son with her husband Chris, who owns wholesale apparel businesses and is brother to Caroline and Dina.

Teresa Giudice: Born and raised in New Jersey, her husband Joe owns a successful construction company. Together they have three young daughters, who take up much of her time. A friend of Dina and Caroline, she also loves to shop, get spa treatments and spend time at her beach house on the Jersey Shore.

Danielle Staub: “You either love me or you hate me, there is no in between,” says the single mom of two daughters. She prides herself as one of the first female American Express Black card members in New Jersey. She is also active in her local parish and regularly attends mass. She and Jacqueline are friends.

Dina Manzo: Founder of the nonprofit Project Ladybug, which helps children with cancer, she’s also an interior designer, an event planner, mother and best friends with her sister Caroline. Her husband Tommy works with his brother (Caroline’s husband) at their family’s catering business.

Caroline Manzo: She’s a mother of three and own a real estate firm and a line of children’s accessories. Described as a “feisty spitfire,” she’s Dina’s sister and is on the board of Project Ladybug. She’s married to Albert Manzo, brother of Dina’s husband Tommy. Dina and Caroline’s brother is Jacqueline’s husband Chris.

Huzzah!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Get your hands off me you damn dirty housewife.

Txbrenna said...

OMG! I am so excited about the Jersey wives! You failed to mention the plastic surgery single mom who has some guy stop by for weekly blow jobs?! MAy never seemed so far away.

jennifer said...

Ah, I did forget that besides being "active in her local parish," Danielle Staub is also very active in her bedroom.

And apparently you can say "blowjob" on Bravo now!

Anonymous said...

I can honestly say that I feel very embarrassed to be living in NJ now.