Sunday, June 29, 2008

I Hardly Drew Ye



Friday I was working at my shop and a group of people came in that I can only describe as "Hollywood"-types: Older, white-haired men straining to look casual in a really expensive way. They seemed extremely out of place in a vintage clothing store. Then a young guy in a jaunty hat appeared in their midst; I thought to myself, "This dude looks exactly like the kid in the 'I'm a Mac' commercials," but then, almost every young man on Earth looks like the "I'm a Mac" kid (aka Justin Long, who was also featured in Dodgeball and the latest Die Hard movie) these days. He is in the tabloids a lot right now because he is dating Drew Barrymore.

And then I heard her voice! Yes, standing two feet in front of me was Drew Barrymore and her "I'm a Mac" gentleman-caller and her entourage, which was entirely male. She did not at all do the "Please, don't notice me, let's all pretend I'm not famous" thing that I've seen many celebs do. She totally took over the whole store with her Drewness.

She immediately flitted over to the sunglasses rack and started trying on different pairs, the kookier the better. We have a mirror down below the counter for trying on shoes and she kept squatting down on her knees to look at herself in the sunglasses; I said, "Uh, you don't have to do that, there's a mirror right here" and urgently pointed over at the non-shoe-level mirror near the sunglasses rack. "Seriously, you really don't have to do that!" I pleaded, over and over, to no avail. Eventually the "I'm a Mac" guy said, bemusedly, "I think she likes doing that, don't block your sale," so I shut up. I, did, however, manage to say, "Those glasses are just eight dollars a pair," which I thought was kind of funny, if I do say so myself. Funny because it's true! Also, she's rich.

The whole time she was doing this, the Hollywood guys were milling around, seemingly unsure of what, exactly, they were supposed to be doing while The Talent shopped at this weird little store in Austin, Texas. They might have been agents or producers, or both, it was hard for a rube like me to tell.

Suddenly Drew flung herself on the "I'm a Mac" kid, wrapped her arms around his neck, and shouted gaily, "Will my sugar daddy buy me these glasses?" (which is funny on many levels, obviously, as she is way wealthier and famouser and several years older then him, plus they are kind of known for their public displays of affection) and then fairly skipped over to the counter, flung down three pairs of sunglasses (pink, yellow, and black) and Drewed her way out the front door, calling out something vague about seeing "the frog" (ie, the Daniel Johnston "Hi, How Are You" frog that is painted on the side of our building).

A young man suddenly materialized out of nowhere with a credit card in his hand and asked, "Is she buying something?" and then wondered, "Anything for me?" and looked in the bag of sunglasses and answered his own question, a bit ruefully, with, "Ah, no." He paid and left. How awesome to have a "go pay for my crapola" person!

Then the "I'm a Mac" guy asked if I would get a t-shirt down for him off the wall. He wanted a vintage t-shirt I'd found a while back that has fuzzy iron-on letters and reads "BECAUSE I'M THE MOM, THAT'S WHY" on it. I complimented him on his taste and we exchanged pleasantries about a pair of sunglasses he tried on making him look either like Lavar Burton on "Star Trek: The Next Generation" or Lamar Latrell from Revenge Of The Nerds (either way is a winner, obviously.) He also bought a new "I Heart Puppets" t-shirt. If he ever wears either of these shirts in my Star or Us Weekly I WILL DIE.

While he was checking out he said, a bit panicky, "Oh, hey, I was supposed to buy those glasses for her, " and then when I started giving him a little background story on the Daniel Johnston frog I thought might be interesting to him, he kept looking outside and got more and more agitated as he was clearly being summoned to leave by Drew and her people and so once I again I shut the hell up and as soon as he finished paying I bid the "I'm a Mac" guy a fond adieu.

All in all a funny little celeb encounter. And I do mean little--he was teeny tiny (including hat) and she was about the size of my thumb...

5 comments:

Kim said...

Oh my god! Did you tell Justin Long that he was awesome in Campus Ladies?

SUS said...

That's awesome! I want a personal bill payer -- even more than a personal piss boy.

porkmuffin said...

that is the best story ever

Jennifer Perkins - Naughty Secretary Club said...

I saw them twice that Sunday on S. Congress. She was wearing yellow Kanye West style mirrored sunglasses were they from Blue Velvet? The first thing I thought before I realized it was her was "man those are cute sunglasses". seriously. They came into Uncommon Objects and she took a picture with some kid, smiled at me and had an awkwardly long hug with Justin in the front of the store. I'm kinda not believing todays gossip about them breaking up they seemed so smitten just last weekend how can it be true?

Anonymous said...

What did you say to them that drove them apart?