Thursday, March 27, 2008

His Pot Boileth Over



Sorry folks, it's another slow week in the gossip-sphere. Sigh! So in lieu of poring over photos of J. Lo's half-human/half-wampyre babies, how about we discuss that nutty nutball Andrew on "Top Chef," eh?

**SPOILERS AHEAD!**

**LUSCIOUS, PADMA-LIKE SPOILERS!**

This guy's insanity has been apparent since the very first episode, with all his eyeball-bulging, freakishly over-the-top intensity, and generel wackadoodle-ness. His facial ticks and constant leg shaking figiditiness remind me of Michael Biehn's character in The Abyss, the Navy SEAL whose deep-sea decompression sickness turns him into a homicidal maniac.

But last night Andrew really went around the bend! When his team lost the Block Party Challenge, he acted like it was a miscarriage of justice on a par with The Scottsboro Boys. Dude, your food kinda sucked, ok? DEAL WITH IT. But noooooooooooo. He had the audacity to tell the panel of judges that they would have to get security guards to drag him off the set and then he actually said, "This is my house." The judges--especially Tom Collichio--were like one giant human eyeroll. (Almost as bad was egomaniacal teammate/compulsive hat-wearer/professional douche Spike, who told the judges the team had been cooking for the lowbrow block party-goers and not the refined palates of the judges, which may be the most retarded excuse ever on this show. He and Andrew also kept insisting that their food was superior to the other teams', which was not only annoying but bad form. BAD FORM!)

I think Andrew is a human powder keg ready to explode on national tv. If he gets eliminated he may blow himself--and the entire cast, crew, and 50,000 Glad family of products placed on the show--to smithereens. He's like a terrifying combination of Travis Bickle, Captain Quieg, Peter "I'm Mad As Hell And I'm Not Going To Take It Anymore" Finch in Network, the Unabomber, Jack Nicholson in The Shining, and Marty Feldman. Plus he's a total Daywalker, man!



On the other hand, he does make some good TV.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We need some different haircuts or wigs on these people, because I keep confusing Andrew and Spike, as well as the molecular gastonomist chef and one of the lesbians, both of whom have tiny blonde fauxhawks.

And what's with that promo featuring Padma dancing with giant knives? Was she drunk when they filmed that?

Terri R.