Sunday, January 06, 2008

Phil 'Er Up!

(photo via tmz)

Ha! Just as I suspected! Poor sadsack Britney Spears was not so insane as to invite Dr. Phil into her hospital room and was instead practically accosted by him. Girl is crazy--but not that crazy! Apparently her equally deranged parents sicced him on her, TMZ reports:
People on the 7th floor at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center say the doctor arrived about 7:30 AM Saturday. We're told Britney did not invite him in; she didn't even know he was coming. Sources say it was Brit's parents who told Dr. Phil to go to the hospital. When he walked into her room, we're told, a blindsided Britney walked out -- and eventually came back.

Sources say Phil tried speaking with Spears for about 15 minutes -- not an hour as Dr. Phil's press release states -- but she wanted none of it. We're told Phil was doing almost all the talking. As for walking with her to the car on her way out -- again, as his release states -- we're told if he was walking behind her, that's news to her. She absolutely was not accompanied by him.

Sources say Dr. Phil somehow convinced Brit's mom and dad to be on his show, which will tape Monday and air Tuesday (it was just moved up a day), but as one person put it, "Based on the interaction between Dr. Phil and Britney this morning, it'll be a cold day in hell before Britney goes on his show." We're told she absolutely will not appear on the program.
Dr. Phil is scaring me. He needs to move away from the spotlight for one measly second and leave this girl alone. If he was doing this out of the kindness of his heart, he wouldn't be trying to book her and her entire family on his lame tv show! But I guess I shouldn't take this to heart. As he himself likes to say, "If you're gonna be stupid, you gotta be tough!" Whatever the hell that means! Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

How much do you want to bet that he manages to get Jamie Lynn up there to give birth via live video feed on his show? If he can't get Britney, he'll get the next best thing...

If you look at the Urban Dictionary entries under "Dr. Phil," this is what you get:

1. dr.phil

Dr.Phil is a daytime talk show host who is a disgrace to America. He constantly pretends to help people, everyone who appears on his show is most likely an actor. Is full of lifetimish quotes and sayings off Hallmark cards.

"I went to the counselor today, and she didn't even help, she's such a Dr. Phil!"

2. dr.phil

A day-time idiot brought to you by Harpo, Oprah spelled backwards! Dr. Phil, widely known for his southern speak, simple-minded advice, knack for making people cry, and bald head, can be viewed right before Oprah.

Dr. Phil's favorite hard-hitting question is "What part of you don't you understand?".

3. Dr.Phil

A hypocritical moron with a hit show brought to by HARPO! THE MAKERS OF OPRAH! The show usually features Dr.Phil making someone cry, advertising for his latest weight loss book which he should consider reading and other things one step up from Jerry Springer but less funny.

Dr. Phil is a bald, creepy, douchebag. I vomited all over the couch after seeing a commercial for the show.

Sometimes I really love the Interwebs...

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