Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Oscar The Grouch

The Acadamy Awards may or may not be going on this year, but the nominations are out and some are great and some, as usual, make me violent:

Best Picture
"Michael Clayton"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"

Where in the hell is Sidney Lumet's "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead"? I liked "Juno" as much as the next guy (ok, maybe a bit less) but it should not be in that list and the Lumet movie should! He's like 110 years old and is doing his best work since the days when Al Pacino was a good actor! I really hate it when the Academy gets all trendy and ignores high quality work by old pros. Also, "Atonement" can bite me. Yet another beautifully-shot period English drama and us American hicks get all impressed and want to show we have good taste. Bleh.

George Clooney, "Michael Clayton"
Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood"
Johnny Depp, "Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
Tommy Lee Jones, "In the Valley of Elah"
Viggo Mortensen, "Eastern Promises"

Again, how about Philip Seymour Hoffman and/or Ethan Hawke for "Before The Devil Knows Your'e Dead"? Sure, PSH already has an Oscar, but just for acknowledgment, you know? I am glad to see Tommy Lee Jones for "In The Valley of Elah," because a) that movie was also unfairly ignored by everyone and b) I love me some Tommy Lee Jones. Craggy hot! Thank god Viggo was nominated or every woman I know would have rioted. Especially Friend of Felt Up Terri R. No Viggo, No Peace! I was also kind of sad not to see Josh Brolin on the list for No Country For Old Men, as I fell in love with him after his armpit licking scene in Flirting With Disaster. Whatever, we all know who is winning this one, but at least he totally deserves it for another patented intense virtuoso performance of a lifetime. Johnny Depp, come on down! Ha! I keed. Daniel Day-Lewis has it in the bag. At least, he better. The Academy is notoriously insane.

Cate Blanchett, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age"
Julie Christie, "Away From Her"
Marion Cotillard, "La Vie en Rose"
Laura Linney, "The Savages"
Ellen Page, "Juno"

OK, "Juno" has now offiicially gotten on my nerves. If Ellen Page gets this for like her second movie ever, I will do something rash. I'm not sure what, exactly, but it won't be pretty. Maybe I'll just actually get a rash all over my body. That'll teach 'em! I'm sick of Cate Blanchett, by the way. I hope it goes to Julie Christie, Laura Linney or the Frenchie. Of course, as I've said many times in the past, once Cher won Best Actress didn't that negate any value it ever had?

Supporting Actor
Casey Affleck, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"
Javier Bardem, "No Country for Old Men"
Hal Holbrook, "Into the Wild"
Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Charlie Wilson's War"
Tom Wilkinson, "Michael Clayton"

This is a tough one. Lots of great performances to choose from. I love an underdog-made-good, like Casey Affleck, and Hal Holbrook is the sentimental fave; I love Philip Seymour Hoffman, but he's already got a Best Actor and he'll probably get a few more before he's done; Tom Wilkinson is great and all, but for the love of sweet baby Jesus it better be Javier Bardem! First of all, even though he'll probably be there (if it happens, that is) with stupid Penelope Cruz, he will be in a tux and he's going to make my heart explode with his hotness and then I'll be dead, but smiling.

Supporting Actress

Cate Blanchett, "I'm Not There"
Ruby Dee, "American Gangster"
Saoirse Ronan, "Atonement"
Amy Ryan, "Gone Baby Gone"
Tilda Swinton, "Michael Clayton"

Again, sick, sick, sick of boring Cate Blanchett and I know I'm in the minority but I loathed her completely ridiculous drag-queen-esque impersonation of Katherine Hepburn in "The Aviator" which won her an Academy Award already. Oscar loves a stunt like her turn in the crazy Todd Haynes movie, though, so she could totally win it. I would like to see Ruby Dee get up there and make some kind of crazy Obama and/or civil rights and/or anti-war speech, but Amy Ryan probably has a better chance at winning since she got such rave reviews, or maybe the kid in "Atonement." This is another category that has lost all credibility, because the Academy loves nothing else than to give this award to little girls who will never be seen again. Like Marisa Tomei. Ba dum dum! I'm here all week, folks! Try the veal!


Julian Schnabel, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"
Jason Reitman, "Juno"
Tony Gilroy, "Michael Clayton"
Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, "No Country for Old Men"
Paul Thomas Anderson, "There Will Be Blood"

I think we all know that PT Anderson is going to win this, although Julian Schnabel might be a looooong shot. The Coen Brothers have a chance, but they've won before (for writing, though, not directing). And "There Will Be Blood" keeps getting called a "masterpiece," which, as much as the critics loved "No Country For Old Men," they weren't throwing around the "m" word in their reviews like that, so it's more of a sure thing.

Whew! I sure hope the show goes on, because what will Joan and Melissa Rivers do without their swag bags? They might starve (well, if they ate in the first place) or something! Billy Bush might be all dressed up with nowhere to go and nothing in his brain! Nancy O'Dell could have to sit around in her hideous Wendy Pepper dress and cry bitter tears! O the humanity!


Anonymous said...

Unsolicited opinions from Terri R.

1. I AM glad for Viggo, not just because of his hotness, and not just because of his nudeness in Eastern Promises, but because he was excellent as a Russian person. And because of the scene with him in his panties.

2. I am glad Cate Blanchett got her nom for Best Supporting Actress, b/c it was the only nom for I'm Not There, which was one of my favorite movies (if not THE favorite) of 2007. But I might be secretly rooting for Ruby Dee.

3. I am totally sick of Juno, too, and I haven't even seen it. Terri R. does not like forced quirkiness.

4. There Will Be Blood was way WAY better than No Country For Old Men, so I hope it wins in those head to head categories they both got noms for. Also, where was the nod for the Radiohead dude's score for "Blood"? Outrage!

5. I am pleased with the Julian Schnabel nod, and I hope he comes to the ceremony (if it happens) in a bathrobe.

Anonymous said...

One more thing! I read a few critics say they wanted Zodiac to receive some recognition, especially for Robert Downey, Jr., and I totally agree. He was so good in it. Oh, well.

Terri R.

jennifer said...

Terri R. what would I do without you reminding me of things I am remiss about? I totes forgot that I wanted props for "Zodiac." Esp. Mark Ruffalo, who should get a special Hotty McSteamydream Oscar, and Robert Downey, Jr., whom I love beyond all decency and reason. Sigh...