Wednesday, January 02, 2008

A Not-So-Blind Item?

Ha! The New York Post's Page Six gossip column was "Just Asking" today:
WHICH 40ish actress has finally gotten pregnant for the first time? Her rep is denying it because she's only a month into it, and has suffered miscarriages in the past. Said our source: "Watch for her to get bangs and start wearing hats to hide her sagging face because you can't be on Botox when you are pregnant."

Tra la la! Whoever could they mean? Really, Page Six, you might as well just spit it out, since you are not even trying to protect her identity:

(photo via jenesaispop)

It's funny that Nicole Kidman is so famous for being The Queen of Botox, when really Botox is the least of the crimes she has committed against her own face. To me it looks like she erased her freckles (via lasers? dermabrasion? voodoo?), got cheek implants (which once again compells me to ask WHY? why do actresses of a certain age think cheek implants are a one-way ticket to the Fountain of Youth? they just give you under-eye protruding bumps which are not particularly attractive and also completely alter your appearance so as to make you a grotesque!), had all manner of skin removal, lip implants and/or plumping with that stuff that sounds like it should go into parka stufffing, and a big ole nose job. The Botoxed forehead is just extremely noticeable because she keeps pulling her bangs off that enormous dome and also because she is unable to express human emotions anymore, which I imagine is something of a liability in the acting profession.

Lest you think I'm merely a crazy blogette with no life of her own to critique, may I once again remind you that YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER and also direct your attention to Awful Plastic Surgery (a Felt Up fave!), which calls her the "Most Requested Celebrity" because:
Whenever Nicole Kidman appears on an awards ceremony, my email box is filled with the question, 'What has she done to her face?'. Judging from photos, a lot.
Here are some "before and after" photos from Awful Plastic Surgery:

Apparently Ms. Kidman also went from pink=toned to yellow-hued at some point in her career. I fervently hope that her baby is a boy--can you imagine being the daughter of someone with these body/aging issues? You could end up a Rumer Willis! Eek!

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