Saturday, January 12, 2008

Lil' Miracles Everywhere!

For those of you who care about this sort of thing, a bunch of super hot, incredibly sexy celeb babies were popped out recently: Nicole Richie and Joel Madden had a future anorexic girl and Christina Aguilera and her husband had a future dirrrty boy; further down the fame totem pole, Courtney Thorne-Smith of "Melrose Place" and her husband had a future b-list boy, and "In Living Color"'s David Allen Grier and his wife had a future sorta-sometimes-funny girl.

All of the above sacred, holy birthing events took place at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in L.A. Boy, do I feel sorry for any non-celeb ladies in there trying to go through labor during the melee...

Get ready for non-stop baby porn in all the tabloids for the rest of your natural life!

Here's one of my favorite rants from the late, great comedian Bill Hicks:
Where's this idea that childbirth is a miracle came from. Ha, I missed that fu**ing meeting, okay? "It's a miracle, childbirth is a miracle." No it's not. No more than a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out of your ass. It's a chemical reaction, that's all it fu**ing is. If, you wanna know what a miracle is: raisin' a kid that doesn't talk in a movie theatre. Okay, there, there, there is a goddam miracle. It's not a miracle if every nine months any yin yang in the world can drop a litter of these mewling cabbages on our planet. And just in case you haven't seen the single mom statistics lately, the miracle is spreading like wild-fire. "Hallelujah!" Trailer parks and council flats all over the world just filling up with little miracles. Thunk, thunk, thunk, like frogs laying eggs.

1 comment:

impychimp said...

Jimi Hendrix died in a pool of his own vomit. Do you know how much puke it takes to fill a pool?!

Oh, Bill. We didn't deserve you.