Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Toy Vey!

Lordy, ya'll! The new Star magazine says Britney Spears has a sex-toy-filled love dungeon and her house is grody and filled with feces-from-various-species-smeared couches AND she's pregnant again by some waiter. From the New York Daily News:
The tabloid alleges that the plummeting pop star's Mulholland Drive mansion is equipped with a double-locked, X-rated "Fantasy Room" filled with ticklers, whips and fur-trimmed handcuffs hanging from the metal bedframe...

The second-floor room also features a mirrored ceiling, a glass jar containing spanking paddles and a closet full of kinky outfits, according to an "insider" who stumbled into the den of sin.

"She wears Catholic schoolgirl uniforms, a maid's uniform and a Cinderella outfit," claims the mole. The source also contends Brit is so obsessed with Marilyn Monroe that she wants her nose redone to look like the blond model of self-destruction.

"Britney is sexually obsessed," the source tells Star...

Star's source also claims the house is a stinky sty — that the white couches bear hideous stains of diaper-changing and Britney's dog. According to the tab, a "court-appointed watchdog" is set to declare the place a potential "health hazard."...

Star quotes "multiple independent sources" as saying Brit is expecting again.

"Yes, I am pregnant and I am shocked — almost four weeks to be exact," says Brit, or someone claiming to be Brit, in a message on her MySpace page, according to Star. "I don't really know if I'm happy or sad I'm just ... idk [I don't know] I am happy I guess. I saw the ultrasound and it was really kewl!"

OK. I can totally buy the tacky fantasy room and the "sexy" Cinderella outfits (seriously, though, WTF?) and the poopy sofas, but surely this last part isn't true! Even a possibly bipolar psychotic megalomaniac sex addict with daddy, mommy, and self-esteem issues wouldn't think it was "really kewl" to add another mouth to this particular litter at this particular time, right? RIGHT?

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