Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Jes The Facts, Ma'am



In the interest of parity, your humble Felt Up blogette put on her Nancy Drew hat and went cyper-snooping to find the MySpace profile of Jes, the "winner" of "Bret Michaels' Rock of Love." Her page is not nearly as informative or self-aggrandizing or awesome as first runner-up Heather's, natch, but you can glean a few teensy nuggets o' info...

For instance, she is now 24 years old! Woo-hoo! Also, after apparently being bombarded with fans' queries about her hairdo, she helpfully provides a step-by-step how-to in her blog (interestingly, where Heather used ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME, Jes has no use whatsoever for the capital letter):
my natural hair color is a dark blonde. obviously now i am a lot brighter. im what they call a double process. i use lightner with 30 vol. and then galze it with redken SEQ. it depends on what my hair lifts to (bc it tends to be stubborn) buti usually glaze it with 9V and 9B. Be carefull though and use crystal clear to dilute it, otherwise your hair will turn a fabulous shade of silver!! as far as the pink....make sure you put it on blonde hair to get the true tone of the color. i use a direct pigment made by Pravana. sometimes i mix together the magenta and the violet, just do the magenta or use the pink. it depends on how much depth you want in the pink. but if you like whats in the pictures....go for the straight magenta. its a direct dye so all you have to do is literally take it straight out of the tube and apply. however, when you wash your hair, make sure you use cold water because this helps to keep the rest of your head from turning pink when it runs through your hair. to keep it lasting long, i know this sounds kinda gross, but i only wash my hair 3 times a week. otherwise this color will only last you for about 3 weeks at the most if you wash your hair every day.

as far as styling goes...

my hair is naturally straight but i still flat iron it to help give my texture. i use transforming past by aquage and then i back comb my whole head. this will give your hair a base and help it to stay spikey. and if you really want your hair to stay spiked the whole night, get your hands on joico spiker blast hairspray. its literally a spray adheisive and i promise you your hair WILL NOT MOVE!!! its awesome!!

hope i answered all of your questions!!! look forward to seeing people with my hair!!!

I find it fascinating that, just as on the show, Heather's MySpace blog is balls-out and loud and crazy, while Jes puts up a wall of hairstyling tips to keep us from knowing the real her.

What else can we learn from her profile? Well, she is (at least virtual) friends with all the other contestants on the show, including Heather and craaaazy evil lying liar Lacey! (Be sure and check out Bret Michaels' hilarious MySpace page, by the way.) And her location is given as Chicago, IL, so could that mean there is trouble in over-the-hill wig-wearing rock star paradise? Perhaps! But she also lists her status as "in a relationship." Crap! Are you still rockin' Bret's world or not? Dammit, we need answers, Jes! THERE IS A WAR GOING ON, MISSY!

Thank sweet holy baby Jesus in the manger that there is a "Rock of Love" reunion show coming up on Sunday! Huzzah! A reason to live!

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