Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Blondes Have Less Fun



Dear god, this Halloween just gets weirder and crazier and more vomitous! Now I hear tell that two of my fellow Texans, tears-of-a-clown Owen Wilson and...oh, I don't even want to type this!....sweet baby Jesus in the manger, please guide my hand! aaaaaaaaah!.....sigh....here goes...OK....deep breath...just spit it out!....JESSICA SIMPSON may possibly have gone on what might, in certain circles, be called a "date." From Ben Widdicomb's NY Daily News column:
Jessica Simpson sure makes a great anti-depressant.

She and Owen Wilson have been spotted on a date in Los Angeles, according to the new issue of Star magazine.

The two dined Sunday at the Huntley Hotel in Santa Monica before retiring to his Malibu home.

"He couldn't keep his hands off her," a witness tells the mag.

Apparently, sparks flew between the two Texans when they were in Austin on Oct. 16 to appear in a video with Willie Nelson.
I never in a million years thought I'd say this, but DAMN YOU, WILLIE NELSON! GODDAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!

Owen, dear, I know you're illin' and all, and I also know that sometimes it might seem like a little nookie with a developmentally-disabled blonde big-boobed bimbo with daddy issues is just what the doctor ordered, because, hey, we've all been there, right? BUT IF YOU END UP IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH JESSICA SIMPSON I WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO THROW YOU OFF A CLIFF. And who would believe it wasn't a suicide, eh? Mwah ha hah! The perfect crime! Consider yourself warned...THIS WILL NOT STAND!

1 comment:

Paula said...

"I never in a million years thought I'd say this, but DAMN YOU, WILLIE NELSON! GODDAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!"

this has had me laughing for ten minutes straight..