Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Ashley Takes a Tour De Lance

I wish I could say that this is a cruel Halloween prank, but alas, it is all too real: The New York Post's gossip column, Page Six, is reporting that Ashley Olsen (AKA "The Fat Olsen") is dating...LANCE ARMSTRONG! AAAAAAAAH!
ODD couple alert: Ashley Olsen has a new, older man.

The 21-year-old twin showed up to the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel Monday night with Tory Burch's ex, Lance Armstrong, 36.

Our bar spy said, "They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m."

Armstrong has been spending more time in town since he bought a home here.
Ewwww! Gross! To me Lance Armstrong seems waaaay older than 36, and Ashely is like a teeny, tiny Monchichi stuffed animal, so it's especially gag-inducing. I don't know how tall he is, but she's so itty-bitty I bet he could carry her around with one hand, like one of her ginormous purses. He could use her as a festive container to hold his treats when he goes trick-or-treating tonight! Maybe they're both gay and this is all an elaborate ruse... Instead of being a "mirken," she can be his Birkin! Ha ha ha!

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