Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Live And Let Live Puke


(image via ipcmedia)

Apparently big-time and not-so-big-time celebs are runnin' around, canoodlin' and makin' out and doin' it with each other all over the place. First up, the NY Daily News has this report of a match made in the very bowels of hell:
Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger grow closer still. Having had dinner last week at Sag Harbor's American Hotel, the former Beatle and the Oscar winner looked "very cozy" at the party Jon Bon Jovi threw in East Hampton Saturday, a spy tells us. "They chatted through much of the evening and shared one of the outdoor day beds where people lounged on the lawn after dinner."

Ewwww! And if you think that's frightening, get a load of this nightmare scenario:
Zellweger was also front and center when McCartney took the stage for an impromptu set with Bon Jovi, Billy Joel, Jimmy Buffet and Roger Waters. But although Paul did ask the musical question, "Do you want to dance with me?" we're told he and Renee left separately.

EGADS! Did they do a "Margaritaville/Uptown Girl/You Give Love a Bad Name/Ebony and Ivory/Another Brick in the Wall" medley? Did my head almost explode trying to contemplate this insane tableau played out before La Zellweger's squinty eyes? I WANT ANSWERS!


Justin Long

The Daily News also relays the news that cute famous rich movie stars want to make out with the "I'm A Mac" dude:
Drew Barrymore lip-locked with "Live Free or Die Hard" actor Justin Long Sunday night at Vegas' Jet Nightclub at the Mirage, with best buddy Cameron Diaz in tow. The trio sat in VIP, where Drew and Justin "got cozy and made out in a corner table," says our spy.

All of this begs the question: IF THE BEST DREW BARRYMORE CAN DO IS ZACH BRAFF, TOM GREEN, AND JUSTIN LONG, THEN WHAT HOPE IS THERE FOR ME?

And, finally, the good people at the NY Post's Page Six posted this delightful report about everyone's favorite developmentally-disabled cheesey former rock star who isn't Bret Michaels:
TATTOOED rocker Tommy Lee will hook up just about anywhere and with anyone. Lee's raunchy bar behavior grossed out a room full of revelers at Dune in the Hamptons on Sunday night when the Motley Crue drummer and a blond party girl "were flat-out [bleep]ing" on a banquette, according to multiple witnesses. One told us, "When Tommy walked in, he asked, 'Is it cool to have sex in here?' The hostess thought he was kidding, but . . . then he just went to town with this girl. We were trying not to pay attention because it was so disgusting." A rep for Lee told us, "this story is not true."

Oh, rep for Lee, you are such a damn liar! THIS STORY IS SO TRUE! The "is it cool to have sex in here?" line gives it the air of veracity that you, rep for Lee, cannot destroy with your phony denials! And besides, why must you try to deny us, a suffering nation, our minor pleasures and joys? THERE IS A WAR GOING ON, REP FOR LEE!


(tommy lee figurine available for purchase at star store)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm highly amused that the song you chose for Paul McCartney for the all-star medley was Ebony and Ivory.

And I say this to both Renee and Drew: Eeeewwwww.

I think you should make "Is it cool to have sex in here?" your new myspace headline, by the way.

Terri R.