Sunday, May 06, 2007

Lindsay Learns Her Lines

OK, so this story comes from The News Of The World U.K., and normally I don't like to quote from the trashier end of the tabloid spectrum, but a) it's totally and completely awesome, b) there is photographic evidence in this instance, and c) there's a war going on, people! We need something we can cling to in our hour of darkness! So here goes:
LINDSAY Lohan, fresh from rehab, has been pictured taking part in a marathon cocaine binge.

Sordid snaps of her snorting the drug and shoving it up a pal's nose was taken as she and two friends crammed into a club toilet during a wild night on the town.

Then the Mean Girls star bragged to the others: "I'm going to New York tomorrow to f*** Jude Law."

Now a friend of the 21-year-old actress says she is spiralling out of control since rehab and revealed that Lohan:

SNORTED 20 lines of cocaine in ONE night alone

STRIPPED down to a thong before inhaling the drug off a coffee table

BRAGGED of wild sex sessions with a host of celebrities including singer James Blunt and model Calum Best.

The friend added: "Lindsay does not care who sees her do coke and where she does it." And she has not managed to stay off the booze either.

"She carries round a water bottle to try to fool everyone into thinking she is clean but she tips the water out and refills it with vodka and soda."

But she was caught out by a secret film made as she snorted the Class A drug at the exclusive Teddy's nightclub in Hollywood's Roosevelt Hotel.

The video shows her arriving at 11pm and skulking round the toilets before creeping inside a cubicle.

Wedged inside the loo with two friends, Lohan pulls a small bag of white powder from her jeans pocket.

She dips her finger in and shoves the substance up one friend's nose before snorting some up her own.

And this was filmed just 20 days after she proudly emerged from therapy.

Obviously "Lindsay Lohan does cocaine" is not exactly shocking news, but it's always nice to have video confirmation. I also loooooooooooooove the "I'm going to New York tomorrow to f*** Jude Law" line--so incredibly funny. Let's hear some more sordid tales from Lindsay's "friend," shall we?
"She wasn't even trying to hide it and was blatantly doing it off table tops, keys, books and in the wardrobe, where she was hunched over with her legs crossed almost bent in half doing it off some magazine on the floor.

"I remember looking at her and thinking how pathetic she looked and how out of control she had become.

"When she is on coke, which is most of the time, all the attention has to be on her.

"I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone.

"Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out.

"One night we had gone back to her place and, as always, as soon as she walked through the door she stripped down to her thong, bent down and snorted cocaine off her coffee table and then off her toilet seat."

But Lindsay is not only addicted to booze and drugs, she is also hooked on sex with some of Hollywood's hottest men, says our insider.

"She has told me that she has slept with James Blunt, Jude Law, Calum Best, Joaquin Phoenix, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Leto and James Franco," admitted the friend.

"She loves Brits and has told me she has slept with the singer James Blunt a few times over the past month.

"The last time was on April 15 after another house party. I think they went back to a hotel together afterwards. She is very protective over him and when she heard I had met him she sent me a text saying, ‘Stay away from him Bitch, he is mine.'

"Lindsay told me she has messed around with Leonardo DiCaprio a while ago too but claimed that she didn't sleep with him."

Oh, dear. Lady, you can have your Jareds and Calums and assorted Jameses, and I'll even thow in Benicio because he's clearly in the midst of some kind of shame spiral, but JOAQUIN? Why did it have to be my Joaquin? Noooooooooooooooo!

I wonder if the "friend" who spilled all these beans is P-Hole Hilton? That "Stay away from him Bitch, he is mine" text made me wonder. She might have been trying to do a little revenge p.r. just before she went to prison...on the other hand, the quotes are in coherent English, so maybe not. Then again, the reporter could have "padded" her quotes to make them intelligible, so who knows?

1 comment:

Rob & Friends said...

Lindsey is coke off my cardboard box.

The boxman

The Boxman is the mascot of the online home for the homeless, without the urine smell