Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Dannielynn Birkhead Is A Better Name Than Gaylord Flocker, But Just Slightly

As everyone on Earth probably knows by now, Larry Birkhead has been pronounced the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. From Court TV:
Anna Nicole Smith's former boyfriend, Larry Birkhead, announced Tuesday outside a Bahamian courthouse that DNA test results show he is the father of the model's baby daughter, Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern.

The announcement came after a closed-session hearing with Birkhead, Smith's lawyer and live-in companion, Howard K. Stern, who also claimed to be the father, and a DNA specialist who analyzed a sample taken from Dannielynn on March 21.

Stern is named on the birth certificate as the father.

Attendees at the press conference cheered as Birkhead made the announcement and said that the results were "99.99999..." positive.

"My baby's going to be coming home pretty soon," Birkhead said, smiling broadly

I wish I could muster up even the mildest excitment about this announcement, but I just can't because a) even those of who were rooting for Zsa Zsa's crazy husband to be the surprise daddy already knew it was Birkhead, deep down inside and b) I'm getting just the teensiest bit tired of this whole thing and the way it dominates all the news networks all the damn time.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

PS: Larry Birkhead is not the real father no matter what the brainwashing system tells you...and she wasn't a junky:

birk = birch (hooked on phonics)


1. Any of various deciduous trees or shrubs of the genus Betula, native to the Northern Hemisphere and having unisexual flowers in catkins, alternate, simple, toothed leaves, and bark that often peels in thin papery layers.
2. The hard, close-grained wood of any of these trees, used especially in furniture, interior finishes, and plywood.
2. A rod from a birch, used to administer a whipping.

tr.v. birched, birch·ing, birch·es
To whip with or as if with a birch.

[Middle English, from Old English birce; see bherəg- in Indo-European roots.]

MEDIA STORY: possible fathers =

Larry, Curly (h's tern)and Mo + a royale w/ cheese. Au Pairs please free Paris; is this an April fool?

Joy Behar said it best: "There's a war on women going on."

Mo: Bahamas
Crystal Reference Encyclopedia - Cite This Source

Official name Commonwealth of the Bahamas

Local name Bahamas

Timezone GMT -5

Area 13 934 km²/5378 sq mi

population total (2002e) 309 000

Status Independent state within the Commonwealth

Date of independence 1973

Capital Nassau

Language English (official)

Ethnic groups African (85%), European/N American descent (15%)

Religions Baptist (29%), Anglican (29%), Roman Catholic (23%)

Physical features Coral archipelago of 700 islands and 2400 uninhabited cays, forming a chain extending c.800 km/500 mi SE from the coast of Florida; population centres on the two oceanic banks of Little and Great Bahama; highest point, Mt Alvernia, 120 m/394 ft.

Climate Sub-tropical; average temperatures 21°C (Jan) and 27°C (Jul); mean annual rainfall 750–1500 mm/30–60 in; hurricanes frequent (Jun–Nov).

Currency 1 Bahamian Dollar (BSD) = 100 cents

Economy Market economy based on tourism; important financial centre (no income tax);0

During the prohibition era in the United States the Bahamas became a base for rum-running.

The United States leased areas for bases in the Bahamas in World War II and in 1950 signed an agreement with Great Britain for the establishment of a proving ground and a tracking station for guided missiles. In 1955 a free trade area was established at the town of Freeport. It proved enormously successful in stimulating tourism and has attracted offshore banking.

In the 1950s black Bahamians, through the Progressive Liberal party (PLP), began to oppose successfully the ruling white-controlled United Bahamian party; but it was not until the 1967 elections that they were able to win control of the government. The Bahamas were granted limited self-government as a British crown colony in 1964, broadened (1969) through the efforts of Prime Minister Lynden O. Pindling. The PLP, campaigning on a platform of immediate independence, won an overwhelming victory in the 1972 elections and negotiations with Britain were begun.

On July 10, 1973, the Bahamas became a sovereign state within the Commonwealth of Nations. In 1992, after 25 years as prime minister and facing recurrent charges of corruption and ties to drug traffickers, Pindling was defeated by Hubert Ingraham of the Free National Movement.

Full Cast of 1990s Mousketeers:

* Fred Newman-1989-1994
* Mowava Pryor-1989-dec 1989)
* Terri Misner-1991-1994
* Josh Ackerman (1989-1994)
* Christina Aguilera-1993-1995
* Lindsey Alley (1989-1994)
* Rhona Bennett-1991-1996
* Nita Booth-1991-1996
* Mylin Brooks-1990-1993
* Brandy Brown-1989-1990
* Blain Carson-1991-1993
* JC Chasez-1991-1996
* Braden Danner-1989
* Tasha Danner-1989-1990
* Nikki Deloach
* T.J. Fantini-1993-1996
* Albert Fields-1989-1992
* Dale Godboldo-1991-1996
* Ryan Gosling-1993-1996
* Tiffini Hale (1989-1992, 1995-1996)
* Chasen Hampton-1989-1992, 1995-1996)
* Raquel "Roqué" Herring-1989-1989
* David Kater-1989
* Zachory Jaydon-1989/1995/1996)
* Tony Lucca-1991-1996
* Ricky Luna-1990-1996
* Tate Lynche-1993-1996
* Deedee Magno-1989-1992
* Jennifer McGill (1989-1994)
* Terra McNair-1991-1996
* Ilana Miller-1990-1996
* Jason Minor-1990-1993
* Matt Morris-actor-1991-1996
* Kevin OsgoodOct 1989-1993
* Damon Pampolina-1989-1992
* Danielle Rocque-1995 (temporary relacement)
* Keri Russell-1991-1996
* Britney Spears-1993-1996
* Justin Timberlake-1993-1996
* Marc Worden-1990-1996

Dandy line, a kind of fishing line to which are attached several crosspieces of whalebone which carry a hook at each end.

Many dandelions reproduce from fruits formed without fertilization having taken place, resulting in many distinct populations or microspecies, with over a thousand described from Europe alone...er Danny + Lynn (m + f), er FutureSexSounds (JT)