Thursday, February 08, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith Dead At 39



Jeez, you step away from your computer for a teensy bit to get some work done and all hell breaks loose! Thanks to the flurry of phone calls (and emails which I just read) from a multitude of eager beaver Friends of Felt Up, I was made aware of the death of Anna Nicole Smith almost immediately--but just now got to my Mac! AAAAAAH!

Here's what CNN is saying as of five seconds ago:
Anna Nicole Smith died Thursday at a South Florida hospital after being discovered unconscious in her hotel room.

The reality TV star and former model was 39.

"I can confirm that she is deceased. It's as shocking to me as to you guys," Smith's attorney, Ronald Rale, told Reuters. "I don't know anything further. [Her lawyer and husband] Howard [K. Stern], obviously, is speechless and grieving."

Smith's private nurse called Seminole Hard Rock Hotel workers at 1:38 p.m. and security went to the room, Seminole Police Chief Charlie Tiger told reporters.

Before rescue worked arrived, Smith's bodyguard performed CPR on her, he said.

She was taken to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood at 2:10 p.m. where she died, Tiger said....

An autopsy is scheduled for Friday, according to the Broward County Medical Examiner's Office.

As I've said on this blog before, Anna Nicole's life was like a surreal combination of an Aaron Spelling '80s melodrama, Mexican telenovela-style soap opera, and Italian opera--and now there's this tragic, awful conclusion. Just this week she and TrimSpa were sued because a woman didn't lose weight on the stuff (go figure!) and she was ordered by a judge to submit her baby daughter Dannielyn to a paternity test. Every single day of her short life was jam-packed with more drama than anyone since Antigone!

The only things we can be sure of: 1) Dannielyn's life is doomed to be even more effed up than it was before Anna Nicole's death--not only is she practically an orphan, but her paternity suit will have way more at stake if she ends up inheriting the Howard K. Marshall millions, and she will never know if whoever ends up being her real dad really wanted her or the money; 2) the tabloids, cable tv, and gossip blogs are going to have an absolute field day with this thing for the forseeable future--it's going to be like Templeton the Rat gorging on the garbage at the fair in Charlotte's Web, and 3) Howard K. Stern is the kiss of death.

The whole thing is so depressing. Say what you will about Anna Nicole but I always thought she had the cutest face in the business and was always great entertainment. It's not completely shocking, but it is very, very sad.

STAY TUNED for more details as they emerge; really, you don't have much choice. This media feeding frenzy is going to be unavoidable. I bet within two weeks Osama bin Laden will be all, "I am getting sick and tired of this dead blonde infidel!" in his Afghan cave.

1 comment:

Abe-O said...

Shocking and sad news...my heart goes out to the family.

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