Thursday, January 25, 2007

They're Wee And Silly, They're...

First up, WENN reports via Jane that last year ridiculous wannabe-emogoth Jared Leto had to choke a hobbit for putting down his band, man:
Elijah Wood was shocked when he was attacked by Jared Leto at an awards show recently, because "The Lord Of The Rings" star said he didn't like Leto's band.

The 26-year-old star was attending the MTVU Woodie Awards in November when Leto, who is the lead singer of cult act 30 Seconds To Mars, approached his table. Leto came over, whispered in Wood's ear and walked away, but then turned around, grabbed him by the throat and called him a "f**king a**hole."

Wood tells Jane magazine, "He was basically upset at the fact that I said I didn't like his band. He said that initially and walked away. I guess he thought I was laughing at him, but I was more shell-shocked and telling people around me, 'Whoa, I just got told off by Jared Leto for not liking his band.' And that's when he came back and grabbed me." He adds, "I told Jared it wasn't personal. He acted like I'd been disrespecting him or speaking about his family. Things like that don't usually happen to me. I'm very non-confrontational. The whole thing was kind of ridiculous."

What's with all the juicy stories coming out months post-facto, eh? The gossip-hungry public has needs, Elijah Wood! NEEDS! But good for you for calling a spade a spade: I feel confident in saying that 30 Seconds To Mars cannot possibly be any good, based solely on the fact that Jared Leto is in it.

Next up People's cover story this week is all about Tyra Banks attempting to counter the tabloid criticism of her non-sylph-like body by saying the recent photos of her in a bathing suit were taken at an "unflattering angle":
On her hit show America's Next Top Model, Tyra Banks has always stressed the importance of body confidence – but it still hurt when tabloids ran an unflattering photo of her in a bathing suit under headlines that screamed, "America's Next Top Waddle" and "Tyra Porkchop."

Now, for the first time in an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, Banks, 33, is publicly discussing her much-buzzed-about weight gain. "I get so much mail from young girls who say, 'I look up to you, you're not as skinny as everyone else, I think you're beautiful,' " she says. "So when they say that my body is 'ugly' and 'disgusting,' what does that make those girls feel like?"

As for how Banks feels about her own 5'10" body – which she says is at 161 lbs. these days, about 30 lbs. heavier than when she landed on the cover of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue in 1997 – she says: "I still feel hot, but every day is different. It's when I put on the jeans that used to fit a year ago and don't fit now and give me the muffin top, that's when I say, 'Damn!'
As much as I loathe and despise the tabloid culture that villifies non-anorexics (until they do become anorexic and are then labelled "scary skinny!" and "pin-thin!"), I have to admit that "America's Next Top Waddle" has a certain ring to it. But really, Tyra being "fat" is totally absurd. You want fat? I'll show you fat! I know fat, fat is a friend of mine, and you, madam, are not fat! Her only crime is contributing to the dumbing down of our society at an alarming rate. But in order to prove that she's not fat, she's going to wear the infamous striped bathing suit captured by the paparazzi on her terrible talk show. Huzzah!

And finally, Page Six says that craaaaaaaazy ole Anne "I'm A Lesbian, No I'm Not, Yes I am, No, Actually, I'm An Alien" Heche has left her husband for her co-star on that fake "Northern Exposure" show she's on:
ANNE Heche has left hubby Coley Lafoon for her "Men in Trees" co-star James Tupper, "Entertainment Tonight" reports.

A rep for Heche confirmed to Page Six that she and Lafoon, who have a son, have separated, but would not say whether she's seeing Tupper.

A flack for Tupper, who's also married and has a child, said he has also separated, but declined further comment "on his personal life."

The "Men in Trees" story line has Heche and Tupper playing red-hot lovers in Alaska.

Heche was once hot and heavy with Ellen DeGeneres.

Why is it always the children and Ellen who suffer? Can you imagine being either Anne Heche's kid or the child whose dad left his/her mom for Anne Heche? Oh, the humanity!

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