Friday, January 19, 2007

Stars Are Blind (In One Eye)

(photo via JustJared)

Ha ha ha HA! Page Six reports today that Paris "P-Hole" Hilton's famously lazy eye is the reslut of a botched eye job a few years back:
WHEN Paris Hilton decided to turn her brown eyes blue with tinted contacts, she might have hurt her already suffering eye lids. According to a Beverly Hills source, Hilton stopped by a plastic surgeon's office with sister Nicky earlier this week, seeking to "fix her drooping left eyelid." Our insider says Paris had hush- hush surgery six years ago to lift her lids. The muscles of her left eye were supposedly damaged as a result, "causing it to droop more than the right" - a look that was once parodied on "South Park." Hilton, who is filming "The Hottie and the Nottie," has made things worse by wearing blue- tinted contact lenses over her naturally brown irises. "They have been drying out lately," dished the tipster. "She is ignor ing doctors' orders to not wear her tinted contacts." Paris' rep Elliot Mintz told Page Six, "To the best of my knowledge, Paris has never had any kind of cosmetic surgery and has not mentioned any medical procedures having to do with her eyes."

It's hysterical to me that even her flaws are fake! Janice Dickinson probably has more authentic body parts! OK, maybe not Janice, but I bet Courtney Love does! OK, maybe not Courtney, but---eh, forget it.

Oh, and Elliot Mintz, I know you're a p.r. flack and all, but dude, if you were Pinocchio your nose could be used as Marky Mark's penile prosthetic in "Boogie Nights." I'm just sayin'.


Dan said...

If that was a typographical error, it is the most brilliant one ever.

jennifer said...

I had to re-read it a couple of times before I caught it. Yes, it's a typo. And yes, it IS brilliant.

Unlike P-Hole, you have a good eye! said...

OMG Paris Hilton's left eye droop
is as common in her Austrian/German
bloodine. As is her jaw line.

K. MacPherson