Monday, January 29, 2007

More Top Chef Crapola!

Oh, it's a veritable frenzy out there on the Interweb as we count down to the lame-ass finale of "Top Chef Season 2." Apparently Food & Wine magazine accidentally posted their feature on the winner a teensy bit early (ie, today) and then quickly took it down--but not before some enterprising bloggers copied and posted it. If you're the type who wants to know right now which of the final two douche-y contestants won, then go to the Eater L.A. blog and spoil yourself silly.

In other mildly amusing "Top Chef" non-news, Defamer has links to both Ilan and Marcel's MySpace profiles. Ilan's page contains many PhotoShoppped pictures that make fun of Marcel, such as this one:

He also has Marcel in his Top Friends--I'm assuming to be "ironic." Almost all the rest of his "friends" are rappers, man, 'cause that's just how Ilan rolls. The entire thing is meant to be humorous and ridiculous, and it is.

Marcel's page is more serious and straightforward, of course, it being Marcel's, although the foamy fauxmie has "pimped" his page with so many swirly blue graphics (meant to visually represent le gastronomie avant garde, perhaps, or his inner turmoil over his unrequited love for Elia, despite the fact that she accused him of cheating during the elimination judging on the last episode?) that it might give someone an epilectic seizure. Interestingly, he is actually two years older than Ilan (although Ilan's page also says he is of "Black/African" ethnicity so who knows if that's his real age).

The most unintentionally funny thing on it is that in the "Who I Want To Meet" section Marcel says "Those from whom I have something to learn from," which is on a par with Spinal Tap's classic song "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight" in its retarded brilliance. Also, he unsurprisingly lists "The Lord Of The Rings" as one of his favorite movies (hobbit hair influence?) and Harry Potter and something called Hydrocolloids (which according to Amazon is subtitled "Gum Technology in the Food and Other Industries") in his favorite books section. Marcel is at least consistent, I'll give him that.

Consistently a dweebus maximus, that is.

No ironic Ilan in his "Top Friends," but he does include last season's winner Harold
and current hostess-with-the-leastest-clotheses Padma Lakshmi (apparently her hubby wubby Salmon Rushdie doesn't even have a MySpace page--WTF, man? Oh, right, maybe it's that whole fatwa thing. Whatevs!). Marcel seems to have a wee crush on ole Padma--there are two photos of her in his "Pics," including this one:

That is one tiny triangle of fabric separating her private area from Marcel's exposed happy trail, I'll tell you what....ewww.

OK, I'm overloading my brain with MySpace and "Top Chef" and pictures of Marcel's hair. Time to stop. But before I go I want to toot my own horn a little and make note that this is your humble Felt Up blogette's 1,000th post, and as the Church Lady would say, "Well, isn't that special?"


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