Monday, December 04, 2006

Deport Jessica Simpson NOW!

Now this is just plain pathetic. From the Columbus Dispatch:
Singer-actress Jessica Simpson was in tears last night after flubbing a song she was performing during the Kennedy Center Honors.

Simpson was on stage to sing "Nine to Five" as part of the tribute to Dolly Parton, one of the evening's five honorees. Simpson ended her performance abrupty with the words "so nervous" and quickly exited the stage. The stunned audience remained silent, giving her no applause.

Simpson appeared to be crying when she and other singers in the tribute returned to the stage.

CBS will broadcast the show Dec. 26 at 9 p.m.

In addition to Parton, the evening's other honorees were movie director Steven Spielberg, singer Smokey Robinson, composer Andrew Lloyd Webber and conductor Zubin Mehta.

OK. First of all, I am shocked and appalled that Jessica Simpson was the best person they could come with to honor our national treasure Dolly Parton. Dolly deserves better! (Although, truth be told, the only person I want to hear sing Dolly is DOLLY.) And then to not know "Nine to Five" by heart? "Nine to Five" is practically the national anthem. Jessica Simpson should have her American citizenship revoked. Tear up her passport! Strip her of her nationality! Jessica Simpson doesn't deserve to be an American if she dishonors Dolly Parton!
Her dad should just send her off to Germany to hang out with David Hasselhoff. And now that I think about it, those two would make a lovely couple. They could rule German radio and have their own touring variety show called "Schreckliches Singenerscheinen mit David und Jessica."

Oh, go wherever you want Jessica, but you can't stay here, traitor!

On the upside, however, I'm glad that Dolly is finally getting her Kennedy Center honors. They are long, long overdue!




Lucinda said...

Jessica Simpson is a turd. I was at a hockey game and witnessed her eff up the official national anthem. I mean really, not much is asked of this girl. At bare minimum, the job description for a singer is "memorizing lyrics", isn't it?

Abe-O said...

Damn, do you think they'll air her flub? I dunno...maybe not if Papa Joe is involved. Poor least she's not showing her cooter to the world.

jennifer said...

Sadly, I heard they already re-recorded her song and are thus denying us the right to mock and insult her, a right which I believe is covered in the 9th Amendment:

"The right to revel in the public humiliation of Jessica Simpson shall not be abridged by any state or federal law."

Yet another example of our liberties being trampled upon!