Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Suri Cruise: A Very Cute, Very Furry Alien

I know that kooky ole Nicolas Cage and his Asian child bride already chose Superman's Krypton name of Kal-El for their baby, but this "child" is a total dead ringer for Superbaby!

Wait a minute. Hold the effing phone...Your humble Felt Up blogette just had a lightbulb go off over her head. What if Superman brought Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard's frozen brain, and his baby sister's DNA with him from Krypton? DNA that could only be turkey-basted into The Chosen One's brainwashed fiancee's lady parts in the year 2006? Is that what The Cruise learned when he finally reached Super-Secret Top Level 8,000 at the Scientology Celebrity Centre a few years ago? Is the Celebrity Centre just the L.A. outpost of The Fortress of Solititude? Is "Suri Cruise" the "Clark Kent" undercover identity for one Kal-Ellie?

Probably not. But consider my mind officially blown.

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