Thursday, September 28, 2006

Anna Nicole Deals With Grief The Only Way She Knows How: With A Wedding, A Pink Bikini, and Unlimited Champers

You can't blink these days, or you might miss another momentous occassion in the topsy-turvy roller coaster of an existence that is Anna Nicole Smith's life. Star Magazine reports that she and her alleged baby-daddy, attorney Howard K. Stern, have been joined forever in holy, sacred matrimony:
Anna Nicole Smith married her long-time attorney and close confidante, Howard K. Stern, this morning just shortly before 10:30 am in Nassau, Bahamas. The wedding occurred only 18 days after the death of Anna's son Daniel, 20, from an accidental drug overdose in her Nassau hospital room on September 10.

In a world-exclusive report, an eyewitness tells Star that Anna, 38, and Howard, 37, tied the knot shortly before 10:30 am on the morning of September 28, while sailing on a white catamaran off of Nassau! "There was heavy security around the yacht, plus extra speedboats to deliver more supplies as needed (including unlimited Dom Perignon champagne) from the mainland to the catamaran," says the eyewitness, who adds that the wedding party celebrated the union afterwards by having a swim party around the yacht — "and Anna was wearing a pink bikini! Later on, she changed into a colorful, one-piece suit with a wrap around her waist."

I realize that we all mourn in our own way, and that sometimes a good catamaran weddding with never-ending supplies of Dom Perignon is the only way a person can truly move on. However, in some cultures, women mourn the passing of their children by wearing long, black veils and then, after a suitable, decent amount of time has elapsed, they discard the mourning shrouds and venture back into the world. In other cultures, the bereaved mother takes to her bed and is sedated, eventually enters long-term therapy, and when the time is right, seeks comfort from friends and family and the Beauty of Life. In Anna Nicole's culture, the pink bikini is swapped for a one-piece after the speed boat brings champagne, just before the celebratory swim in the ocean. To each his own!

The future bride-n-groom in more serious times...

By the way, Felt Up is contractually obligated to say a hearty mazel tov to the happy couple from the makers of TrimSpa!

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