Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Sometimes Mireacles DO Come True!

From CNN:
Talk about bad timing. At the start of a media blitz to support her new album, "A Public Affair," Jessica Simpson is on vocal rest.

"It is true that she has indeed lost her voice," Simpson's publicist, Rob Shuter, told The Associated Press on Tuesday. "She's been ordered to rest. ... She can talk, she can croak out a few sentences. She sounds a little off, but, you know, she can't sing."

Simpson, 26, fell ill Friday and has "a strain, a bruise on her vocal cord," Shuter told the AP.

She canceled a planned appearance on CBS' "Late Show With David Letterman" this week but was to appear on MTV's "Total Request Live" on Tuesday afternoon to promote the album -- but not sing, Shuter said.

Simpson hopes her condition improves by Friday, when she is scheduled to perform on NBC's "Today" show, he said.

"She's trying," Shuter said. "Everybody is hoping and keeping their fingers crossed."

Oh, everybody is hoping and keeping their fingers crossed all right--that she never utters another word again.

Maybe, just maybe, if every man, woman, child, and Scientologist alien baby in the whole entire world could join together and in one desperate voice cry out to sweet baby Jesus (the version that Ricky Bobby prays to--the one wrapped in swaddling clothes in the manger--or perhaps even Cal Naughton, Jr's "mischievous badger" Jesus): "Lord, we are weary, and problems we have many! Please, we beseech Thee, let this brief respite from Jessica Simpson's voice last unto eternity and lo, we shall forever weep with joy and gratitude!" then perhaps that sweet little mischievous badger swaddled in the manger will use His infinite power and wisdom to keep that blonde bimbo's piehole shut forever and some tiny, yet important, measure of peace can be brought to humanity.

I think we should at least give it a shot.

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