Friday, August 18, 2006

Compare And Contrast

It's really just too bad that pretty pixie sprite Alison, who was auf'd from "Project Runway" this week because she made her "zaftig" model look "plus-size," couldn't have had Nicole Richie walk the runway for her instead, because maybe then she'd still be in the running and Vincent could go back to bothering Nurse Ratchet at the nuthouse. The new Star Magazine has a front-page story on Nicole's continuing efforts to keep her body Hollywood Normal, ie, at death's door, by getting some much-needed exercise:

Compare Nicole with cute lil' Alison's disgustingly obese model, Fattie McChubberton:

Yes, Richie is definitely The Fashion Ideal to which all young girls should aspire, and could have made Alison's sculptured origami paper bag dress a smashing success with the judges and fashion forward fuglies the world over, while McChubberton should a) hire a crane to lift her gigantic tub of guts out of the fashion business for good and drop her down in the same "spa" that de-puffed Michael Kors and then b) commit hari kari for bringing great shame and dishonor to the fashion industry and offending Heidi Klum's delicate sensibilities with her disgusting lard ass.

(Sorry. This episode of "Project Runway" is going to bug me for quite some time, like a bad rash.)


Anonymous said...

The photo piece refers to her as a "starlet"...? Did I miss a memo or something?

~ Spare E

Crazy Aunt Kerri said...

I'm betting that Nicole Bitchie will be dead by January 2007 due to her blatant anorexia; thus, next year will be the Year of Zaftig and then we will see Alisonbjork on lots and lots of shows that talk about skinny vs. fat, just so she can talk about how the "too fat" thing profoundly affected her chances on Project Funway....maybe. I am so happy Michael is finally gettin' props for his design prowess, btw. Also,once I was called zaftig by some waiter who I worked with (for one day until I quit because of a biscuit and iced tea incident.....) and he was trying to flirt, apparently, but I just went home and cried for both losing a job and being called fat all in one afternoon.....