Monday, August 14, 2006

Boy George Once Again Sweeping New York!

The Grey Lady keeps on dipping its refined toes into the filthy swill of celeb gossip by reporting on poor Boy George, who began his community service today in NYC:
With a city-issued broom in his hand, Boy George started his court-ordered community service early Monday, sweeping leaves and trash off the sidewalks of New York.

It took less than an hour for the former Culture Club frontman to get into a spat with the media.

''You think you're better than me?'' he yelled. ''Go home. Let me do my community service.''

Boy George took to the streets of Manhattan as a Department of Sanitation worker wearing an orange vest, dark capri pants, shoes without socks, and without the wild makeup and androgynous style that made him so recognizable as the '80s icon who sang ''Karma Chameleon'' and ''Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?''

''This is supposed to be making me humble. Let me do this,'' he said. ''I just want to do my job.''

The singer, born George O'Dowd, was ordered to spend five days working for the Department of Sanitation after pleading guilty in March to falsely reporting a burglary at his lower Manhattan apartment. The officers who responded found cocaine instead.

At 7 a.m. Monday, a sport utility vehicle pulled up at a Lower East Side sanitation depot. The agency planned to issue the singer a shovel, broom, plastic bags and gloves for the job of picking up trash on the city's streets.

In June, Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Anthony Ferrara issued a warrant for O'Dowd's arrest after he initially failed to complete the requirements of his plea deal. When O'Dowd appeared in court 10 days later, Ferrara called off the warrant but warned the singer he could not escape his community service commitment.

''It's up to you whether you make it an exercise in humiliation or in humility,'' Ferrara told O'Dowd.

O'Dowd, 45, initially envisioned a service project more in line with his status as an '80s icon.

He petitioned to spend the time helping teenagers make a public service announcement. Among his other proposals to the court: holding a fashion and makeup workshop, serving as a DJ at an HIV/AIDS benefit or doing telephone outreach.

How mean of that judge to deprive New York old ladies (like, say, Joan Rivers or me) the privelege of taking a free "fashion and makeup workshop" with Boy! Boo, hiss!

But really, I'm of two minds about this story. On the one hand, Boy George needs to realize he is not Dame Elizabeth Taylor and has to take whatever punishment he gets, and stop throwing diva hissy fits about picking up the garbage. On the other hand, the judge knew he would be subjected to constant, interfering, embarrassing press coverage in performing such a public public service, and could have let him sweep floors inside a building or something similar. On the other hand (yes, I have three hands!), he could have also thrown Boy right into the ole slammer. So, maybe you should count your blessings, Mr. O'Dowd, while you gather up the slimy used condoms and crumpled, urine-smelling hot dog wrappers and greasy, maggoty pizza-stained paper plates and all the other things I imagine New York trash consists of, like....let's see...hardened, ant-ridden bagel crumbs...spat-upon "Taboo" theater tickets...crack-laden egg-cream soda containers...vomit-covered broken bag pipes...burned and broken props from Suzanne Somers' one-woman play "The Blonde In The Thunderbird"...soggy falafels/loofahs outside Fox News headquarters...

Am I the only person on Earth who read Take It Like A Man, Boy George's autobiography? He said Mr. Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale, had a long-term affair with Boy Marilyn back in the day. Ha, ha Gwen! And, no, this doesn't have anything much to do with Boy George picking up trash, but ha, ha Gwen!

The man certainly does have a type...


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