Monday, July 17, 2006

Riviera Rampage!

Sorry for the late posting today, but the interweb was having some issuses at Felt Up HQ. And wouldn't you know it, today was the day we finally had some good gossip to sling around! From the UK Sun:
RAMPAGING Naomi Campbell smashed up her lover’s brand new yacht after a bust-up with an Italian chef, it was reported yesterday.

The supermodel wrecked £30,000 of furniture and fittings — because she did not like his starters or the wine.

Fiery Naomi, 36, clashed with the chef aboard £1.5million yacht Nasma on Italy’s Tuscan riviera.

Naomi asked him to create a memorable, romantic meal for her and new lover Badr Jafar, a Dubai-born prince.

But his simple tomato, mozzarella and dried ham starter with a local white wine failed to impress.

Reports say Naomi — already fired up after a row with a photographer — told him where to shove it, and he hit back in “colourful Tuscan dialect”.

Staff on the 100ft yacht ducked as she lashed out at antiques, light fittings, china plates and glasses.

A man in Viareggio harbour said: “All hell seemed to break loose. All you could hear was shouting and screaming in English. There was the sound of plates being broken.

“Some of the crew later said the kitchen was a complete mess and the curtains and cushions had all been ripped apart.”

The chef, called Andrea, works at Viareggio restaurant il Porto.

A colleague said last night: “He wouldn’t have taken insults from Naomi.”

Naomi’s Italian manager could not be contacted.

The star is already facing an Italian cops’ probe into an alleged fight in Rome last summer with model Yvonne Scio.

Last month a maid filed a personal injuries lawsuit and last week an aide sued for assault
O how much to I adore this story? Why is Naomi Campbell the only celebrity who gives me what I need, what I crave? Why does she, and only she, know how to turn the world on with her snarl? God, this is so awesome. Destroying a Dubai prince's yacht because the appetizers weren't up to snuff. NOTE TO SELF: IF I AM EVER CALLED UPON TO PREPARE A MEAL FOR NAOMI CAMPBELL, REMEMBER TO MAKE THE STARTERS MORE MEMORABLE AND ROMANTIC OR RISK LOSING AN EYEBALL.

The saddest part is that the description of the appetizer she rejected so violently--a "simple tomato, mozzarella and dried ham starter with a local white wine"--makes me drool and want to crawl on my hands and knees to the Tuscan Riviera and see if any of it survived being dumped overboard and/or beaten with a phone. One supermodel's disgusting, revolting, unedible trash is another poor blogger's coveted elegant repast, let me tell you.

Wouldn't it be great if Naomi and the chef were shipwrecked together on a Mediterranean island, a la "Swept Away," and the tables were turned and Naomi, while wearing a white pantsuit and a turban, had to crawl on her hands and knees across the dunes and beg for a scrap of food from the Socialist, shirtless cook, and then their mutual hatred turned into white hot erotic passion and eventually this led to a reversion to pre-Capitalist male/female sexual paradigms? Huh? Wouldn't it?


chepo said...

Will someone kill this woman already!!!

Anonymous said...

commenting on the "swept away' comment. she doesnt deserve to have that good of the sex there. the maddona version ok. erica