Thursday, July 06, 2006

Emmy Fever--Catch It! (If You Must)

I'm not going to go through every single major category of the Emmy nominations, which were announced today, because I might fall asleep at my computer and then drool would get in my keyboard and I'd probably have my recurring nightmare about Star Jones Reynolds chasing me through the Lincoln Tunnel while waving a hot dog with Al Reynolds' face in one hand and a stomach stapler in the other, so if you want to read the complete list, go here-- just don't blame me if you get dizzy and go slackjawed and your head crashes onto your desk and eventually you lose the will to live.

But I will point out some nominations with special meaning for your humble Felt Up blgette. First of all, Will Arnett was nominated for "Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series," for his portrayal of Segway-riding terrible magician Gob on the cruelly cancelled "Arrested Development," which itself was nominated for "Best Comedy Series"--and thank heavens for that, or I would have had to blow up the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, and that would mean getting to California somehow, hauling a load of fertilizer and whatnot, involving some shady co-conspirators from the hinterlands who harbor their own obscure grudges againt the Academy, possibly having to hide on the red carpet behind Haunter of My Dreams Star Jones, and finding the inner courage to not throttle Billy Bush on the night of the ceremony. So, you know, bravo, kudos, etc., Academy, for letting me off the hook.


Although boo, hiss, Academy, for not nominating anyone else from that brilliant show! You didn't nominate Jason Bateman, but you gave a nod to the guy from "The King of Queens" and yucky ole CHARLIE SHEEN?

I guess I have to get over it. But I can't. I'm totally obsessing. You should be ashamed of yourself, Academy! Where is David Cross' nomination for his portrayal of Tobias Funke? Or some recognition for the great Jeffrey Tambor and his work as George and Oscar Bluth, Sr.? For that matter, where are the damn nominations for Michael Cera, Tony Hale, Alia Shawkat, Jessica Walter, and Portia de Rossi?

It's enough to make one not take The Emmys very seriously!

Altghouh I will say that in the "Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program" category, I was thrilled to see not only Stephen Colbert (for "The Colbert Report") and Hugh Jackman (for "The Tony Awards") nominated, but also Barry Manilow (for "Barry Manilow: Music and Passion"). Huzzah!

Hugh Jackman!

In the "Reality Program" category, there is a veritable cavalcade of Felt Up faves: "Antiques Roadshow," "The Dog Whisperer," and "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List," although I can't believe I'm going to have make a "Sophie's Choice"-type decision on who I'd rather have win, Kathy Griffin or Cesar Millan. Oh, Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, why must you be so cruel, like the Nazis?

It will also be tough to figure out whom to root for in the "Variety, Music or Comedy Series" group, since "The Colbert Report" is going head-to-head with "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart."

Finally, in the "Reality-Competition Program" category, I am grateful and relieved to see that The Official Felt Up Reason For Living, "Project Runway," was nominated again. (Don't forget to tune in Wednesday July 12 for the two-hour premiere! Wheeeeee!)

For some reason, "Lost" didn't get jack or shite, with the only acting nomination going to Henry Ian Cusick in the "Guest Actor In A Drama Series" category for his portrayal of "Desmond," AKA The Scottish Guy In The Hatch Who Called Everyone "Brother" To An Annoying Degree. (And really, shouldn't Michael Emerson, who played creeptastic Henry Gale, have been nominated instead of Cusick? Harrumph!)

I'm not holding out much hope that any of my peeps will actually win, and I'm mad there was a "Lost" shutout, but of course I will watch the stupid Emmys when they air on August 27.

Maybe they'll surprise me!



chepo said...

Of course Lost didn't get nominated! This season sucks compared to last season!!!! If you had watched it instead of reading the Television without Pity synopsis you would know!

I love that picture Hugh Jackman.

I gotta go. Justice League is on.

I love you !

Anonymous said...

I was pleased that Scrubs was nominated, but sad that none of the cast was.

I also agree with the Henry Gale snub. That guy gave me the willies. And not in a good way.

Terri R.

jennifer said...

I did so watch "Lost" on tv and only read a couple of TWOP synopses and it did not suck!

You're not my father!