Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Star Bites Hand That Feeds Her, Axl Bites Leg

The long-anticipated (by me) booting of bridezilla Star Jones Reynolds from "The View" has been frought with controversy. Controversy, I say!

Apparently, Star was supposed to make the announcement that she was leaving on this Thursday's "The View," but decided to do it yesterday, instead, and then told People magazine that she was practically fired--and now Barbara Walters is fit to be tied. And really, what sane person would enrage the Walters? She is a scary, scary old broad who clawed her way to the top and would just as soon cut you and drink your blood as look at you. According to WENN:
TV veteran Barbara Walters feels "betrayed" by her The View co-host Star Jones Reynolds following her shock on-air announcement of her departure from the talk show. Walters, 74, was stunned when Jones Reynolds, 44, told viewers and her fellow presenters she would be leaving the ABC program after nine years yesterday morning, because the announcement was planned for Thursday.

Speaking to camera, Jones Reynolds said, "Something's been on my heart for a little bit, and after much prayer and counsel I feel like this is the right time to tell you that the show is moving in another direction for its tenth season and I will not be returning as co-host next year."

And in this week's issue of People magazine, Jones Reynolds says, "What you don't know is that my contract was not renewed for the tenth season. I feel like I was fired."

Walters, who created and produces the show, says, "I love Star and I was trying to do everything I possibly could - up until this morning when I was betrayed - to protect her. I would have loved for Star to have left and not said 'I was fired, ' and not make it look like the program was somehow being cruel to her."

Walters admits ABC network bosses declined to renew Jones Reynolds' contract after research showed audiences were turned off by the former lawyer's dramatic weight loss and her 2004 marriage to Al Reynolds, where she plugged companies on air in exchange for freebies for her wedding.

Walters adds, "We tried to talk them out of it and we tried to give Star time to redeem herself in the eyes of the audience, and the research just kept getting worse."

I love that quote from Star about all the "prayer and counsel" she needed to make her announcement--yes, just intense prayer, soulful counsel, and a big fat firing from the network was all it took. Dear god, she is a loathesome woman! But it's sad we wont' be able to watch the sparks fly between future "View" co-host and frequent Star basher Rosie O'Donnell. Even though I don't watch "The View," I feel the audience has been gypped out of some possibly great tv!

In other non-news, Axl Rose bit the leg of a hotel security guard in Sweden. The NY Daily News reports:
Axl Rose may not care for Sweden's famous herring and meatballs, but he has developed a taste for the country's hotel security guards. The Guns N' Roses front man spent most of yesterday in a Stockholm jail after biting the leg of a watchman at the Berns Hotel.

The 44-year-old rocker was released after admitting that he sank his teeth into the gentleman's flank steak. Rose agreed to pay a fine of $5,500. He was also ordered to pay $1,360 in damages to the guard.

A police spokeswoman said Rose was so drunk when he mistook the guard for a smorgasbord that cops waited till he sobered up to question him.

"He kept a high profile, so to speak," one of the arresting officers told a Swedish tabloid, which reported that Rose bared his fangs when the guard inserted himself into an argument Rose was having with a woman in the hotel lobby.

Last month, the singer got into a brawl with Tommy Hilfiger here at The Plumm after reportedly moving the drink of the designer's girlfriend.

Hilfiger didn't return our call for comment on Rose's teething incident. But perhaps he can whip up a Hannibal Lecter-style face mask in time for the band's next gig, in Oslo.

Oh, Axl. First the bitchslapping from wee lil' Tommy Hilfiger and now this. It's getting more and more difficult to take you seriously as an auteur and musical artiste extraordinaire!

I think all the cornrows, Botox, and plastic surgery has warped your already none-too-pleasant personality and turned you into a Bette Davis-in-"Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?"-style grotesque--and I couldn't be more pleased. Keep up the good work! I look forward to you serving a dead rat on a platter to Slash some day!

1 comment:

porkmuffin said...

OMG Axl looks so f-ed up in that picture! THE HORROR! THE HORROR!