Friday, June 23, 2006

Justin Timberlake Finally Free To Make Things Right In The Universe And Bring Balance To The Cosmos

Well, it looks like fellow cougar Cameron Diaz has lost her cub, according to the brand new Janet Charlton website:
What with all the fake stories about rings and engagements, this major celebrity bustup has gone under the radar.

But this time it's really happened.

Both parties (Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz) want to keep it quiet - they don't want to make a big deal out of such a sensitive issue.

What happened is that Justin is poised to leave on a world tour and he wants to be free.

Last week he informed Cameron that it's over, just as she was about to leave town to film some movie pickups, and according to insiders "she is devastated."

"Tey were a great, well matched couple in many ways but Cameron (at 33) is ready to settle down and wants a commitment, even though she might not admit it. Justin is only 24 and he's been with Cameron for three years. He hasn't had a chance to sow his wild oats yet."

"A few weeks back, Justin and his buddies took off for a few days in Las Vegas and Cameron went chasing after him. She was just too clingy."

Poor old clingy Cam. She should know better than to try to hang on so tightly to a strong, independent black man like JT. She should listen to the advice of .38 Special and "hang on loosely, but don't let go."

Oh, well. C'est la vie. Cam just cannot hold onto a dude! Maybe she spends too much time fretting over her bad skin problems to pick out a suitable and/or age appropriate mate.

Now JT is free to rescue Britney from K-Fed's clutches! It would be the gossip story of the century! Forget Brangelina. Who cares about Vaughnniston? JT AND BS could rule the pages of my beloved Star once again! And why wouldn't JT run as fast as he couuld into those lovin' arms?

Believe me, it will feel just like home, JT.

Don't you remember the good ole days?

Sigh...We want our pop royalty back together! Down with K-Fed! Up with JT AND BS!


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to nit-pick, but as a HUGE .38 Special fan, I feel I must tell you that the lyric is "Hold on loosely, but don't let go."

Where have all the Southern rockers gone?

Terri R.

Anonymous said...

Also, how can we combine Britney's name with Justin's (a la Brangelina)?

Bustin? Jitney? Simberlake? Tears?

Terri R.

jennifer said...

How about Britnin or Timberspears?

Anonymous said...

Man Britney was so hot, now she is a fucking mess!

Shazza said...

How about J Titney?