Friday, June 09, 2006

How Dark The Con Of Brad?

Thanks to the WOW Report, via Tabloid Whore, feast your eyes on the best tabloid cover ever produced by humankind:

First of all, obviously, is the main story: That "The Sexiest Baby in The World" might not be Brad's! Aaaaaaah! Wrap your blown mind around that one! It may be the greatest and silliest deception since the "secret" in "The DaVinci Code." (Saw the movie, finally, by the way, and since I never read the book, I have to say that it made no sense whatsoever and was also very dull. But Ian McKellan was his usual charming, roguish self and as much as I hate to admit it, Audrey Tatou looked incredibly lovely. There! I said it! Are you happy, now, world? But you'll never get me to see "Amelie"! Never! But I digress...)And as shocking as that idea may seem on first glance, doesn't it totally have the ring of truth? Apparently Angelina Jolie was canoodling with her ex-husband Johnny Lee Miller right around the time she got knocked up...

But I especiallly love Le Scandale de Lipo de Janet Jackson. I mean, girl, please. You lost half your body weight in six weeks! From "more to love" to six-pack abs, from sweatpants to tiny bikinis--practically overnight! And don't give me that "egg whites and Pilates" crap, either, Missy. You know you had it all sucked out of you with a vacuum! HA!

And the claim that Paul McCartney was spousal abused by his one-legged naughty porn star shrew of a wife (warning: nsfw) is just too wonderful for words. It really needs no further comment, except to say: BRAVO, National Enquirer! BRAVO!


Anonymous said...

Did you click on the thumbnails to enlarge the photos? FABULOUS titles for the photos!!!

~ Spare E

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you're refusing to see "Amelie"! It has the cute Frenchie who was the bomb expert from "Munich" in it!

Terri R.

Anonymous said...

Yes, the super cute Frenchie from Delicatessen and City of Lost Children. He's fabulous! (And super great in Amelie.)