Monday, May 15, 2006

If You Like Pina Coladas And The Taste Of Cocaine...

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, people, but it wasn't entirely because I'm a lazy sod; there just hasn't been much juicy gossip of late, at least not the kind that makes your humble Felt Up blogette's blood start pumpin' faster. Until today, when this little item appeared in the NY Daily News:
With all the ugly accusations being thrown around by Denise Richards, maybe you don't want to date Charlie Sheen.

But you can.

According to a very reliable source, the "Two-and-a-Half Men" star has been meeting women online through the Web site MillionaireMatch.com.

Although the site amusingly offers a different signup option "if you are a celebrity," Sheen does not identify himself as a famous actor.

"He says he's a talent agent," says the snitch. "He's done this with multiple people. He's caught a few flies in his web posing as a talent scout."
And I hear he has recently had more than one date with a woman he met through the Web. Sheen's rep declined to comment.

Although I promised not to reveal his screen name, I will give you a little hint: It starts with an M and ends with a Z.

Happy hunting, girls!

Wow. "MillionaireMatch.com"? Wow.

I wonder if the women who show up for a date with a "talent agent" are pleasantly surprised to find it's actually Charlie Sheen, or if they run screaming from the room the second they see his face. Sadly, I'm pretty sure most bimbos would be delighted to share a cocaine-fueled underage-gay-porn-n-gambling binge/dream date with Mr. Sheen.

But what is really killing me is that tantalazing clue we get about his profile name, that it "starts with an M and ends with a Z"....DAMMIT! What could it be? What screen name says "I Am Charlie Sheen In A Not-So-Clever Disguise?"

Perhaps..."MyPlatoonOrYourz"? "MyShow21/2MenRulez"? "MegaHotTalentScout(ReallyCharlieSheen)WantsBabez"?

Got any better ideas, people? Surely you must. Leave 'em in the ole comments box, along with an autographed photo of our hero.

1 comment:

porkmuffin said...

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