Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Dirrty Vs. Crazy

Page Six has a delightful little item today about a "catfight" (in quotes because Felt Up has very stringent rules--including hair-pulling, drink-throwing, and dance-offing--for what qualifies as a true, honest-to-god catfight) between married skanteuse Christina Aguilera and her nemesis, Mariah Carey:
DON'T put Mariah Carey in the same room as Christina Aguilera.

Without any prompting, Aguilera talked out of school about the multiplatinum-selling songbird to GQ, and now the two are engaged in a full-fledged feud.

The recently married Aguilera started the catfight when she told the June issue of GQ: "She was never cool to me. To the point that one time we were at a party and I think she got really drunk, and she had just really derogatory things to say to me in front of [Aguilera trails off] . . . But it was at that time that she had that breakdown, so she might have been very medicated."

[For the record, Carey has never been anything but a sweetheart with Page Six].

Carey and her manager, Benny Medina, were shocked to hear Aguilera slag her off and immediately responded.

"I had hoped that Christina was in a better place now than the last time I saw her, when she showed up uninvited at one of my parties and displayed questionable behavior," the duo e-mailed to Us Weekly.

"It is sad yet predictable that she would use my name to reinvent past incidents for her promotional gain. It is in my heart to forgive, and I will keep her in my prayers."

Aguilera immediately sent out a mea culpa statement. "At this point in my life," she said, "I do not want bad energy with anyone. My intentions were not to upset Mariah. I have all the respect in the world for her."

Aguilera has said that since she married Jordan Bratman last year, she wants to clean up her "Dirrty" image. But she poses naked in GQ with nothing but artfully draped bedsheets hiding her naughty bits.

Meanwhile, although married life may be grand for Aguilera, 25, some of her friends she can do without. Things took a nasty turn at a raucous party last month.

"A close friend of Christina's had sex on her sofa and someone urinated on her white shag carpet," Us quotes a source as saying.

"Christina lost it. She was yelling and screaming at everyone," the source said. Aguilera presumably had a professional come clean up the mess.

No one accuses Mimi of being "medicated" at a party and lives to tell the tale, Christina. Nobody! You really don't want to be on her bad side, believe me. If it ever came to blows between the two of you in a dark alley somewhere, Mariah would squash you like a bug. Because when it comes to dirrty vs. crazy--everyone knows that crazy always wins!

But I must admit that j'adore the urine-soaked rug/sexed-upon couch angle to this story. Just goes to show you can take the married lady out of the skank, but you can't take the skank out of the married lady. Huzzah!

Tonight is the fashion world's introduction to new international male model and fellow blogger Greg Beets at the Spring Fashion Show at Club de Ville here in Austin! For those not in the know, my "real job" is owning Blue Velvet Vintage Clothing, and we usually provide the court jesterish entertainment at these events--in good way, of course. Besides Mr. Beets, we will be featuring Friends of Felt Up Tanya B., Richard M., Teresa R., and the triumphant return to the runway of Sublime Stitching's Jenny Hart (in two--count 'em two--different roles!)

The show starts at 9 pm at Club de Ville, 900 Red River, and benefits AIDS Services of Austin.

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