Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Happy Ending

Page Six has a delightful story about Kevin Costner today:
IT'S official - it was none other than Kevin Costner who was accused of masturbating in front of a female masseuse.

For months, rumors swirled that a Hollywood hunk had done that during a rubdown at the Old Course Hotel in St. Andrews, Scotland.

The story emerged in a lawsuit filed by the 31-year-old masseuse, who said she'd been unfairly fired after complaining.

While the star wasn't identified, Costner's name emerged in the press. This week, the hotel settled the suit and the court ruled there was no good reason to keep his name a secret.

His spokesman, Paul Bloch, danced around whether there was any truth to the claim. "This was never about Kevin Costner. This was a dispute between a hotel and an ex-employee. [There] were accusations made that were never proven," Bloch told Page Six's Bill Hoffmann.

Costner, 51, was honeymooning with new wife, Christine, when he went for the massage. The masseuse told the court, "I couldn't believe he thought he could get away with [it]. When I was giving his wife a massage afterwards, I wanted to tell her everything."

Now she's found out.

Hmmmm....This makes me want to a) barf and then b) scour my soul with some kind of psychic colonic and then c) make up punny titles for Kevin Costner's body of work, as it were. "The Touchables," perhaps? "Handango"? "Wyatt Perp"? "JFK-Y"?

Anyone out there got some funny titles you want to "release" for our pleasure? Please leave 'em in the comment box with a clean tissue.


impychimp said...

Well, sounds like this story doesn't have a 'happy ending'. HYUK!

Anonymous said...

"Field of Wet Dreams"?


Terri R.

Anonymous said...

Pull Durham

Anonymous said...

dances with selves?

also sorry,
Aaron W.

Anonymous said...

Field of Cream

Keneth Stevens said...
This comment has been removed by the author.