Thursday, February 16, 2006

Somewhere, Mother Teresa Is Spinning In Her Grave

Lots of Paris "P-Hole" Hilton news today, like it or not. (Mainly "or not," I'm sure.)

First up, Page Six reports that P-Hole's latest Greek shipping heir boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos III, has dumped her bony, talentless ass:
IS Paris Hilton flying solo? Sources say her beau Stavros Niarchos, whose parents refused to acknowledge her existence in their son's life, has left her.

Of course her reps deny this is the case, but since she isn't capable of holding on to her Greeks for very long, it's only a matter of time.

In other non-news about a non-person, WENN says, in all apparent seriousness (and I carefully checked and made sure it isn't April Fools Day), that P-Hole has been short-listed to play Mother Teresa in a new biopic:
Socialite Paris Hilton has reportedly been asked to play celebrated humanitarian Mother Teresa in a movie biopic. Indian director T. Rajeevnath has contacted the hotel heiress about taking the lead role in his new film, which will chronicle the late nun's life.

He tells MTV.co.uk, "My agents in California have contacted Paris Hilton. Although there are several actresses willing to play the role of Mother Teresa, the most widely respected and loved person, the history of the actress who is finally chosen for the role would have to be analyzed thoroughly before she is chosen."

I don't really know anything about this T. Rajeevnath, but I suspect that a) this is all a publicity stunt, and he has no intention of casting the P-Hole as the saintly nun, and b) that T. Rajeevnath does not exist, and this is some kind of cruel joke on Christians being played by Islamic fundamentalists still smarting about those Danish cartoons. But, you know, I could be wrong. At this very moment, P-Hole could very well be delving deep into her Method Acting training, to tap into her inner virginal, selfless nun, ready to yank off her extensions, shelve that fake tan, and plunge waist-deep into a sea of Calcutta lepers to give them solace, comfort, and if necessary, a well-deserved peek at her crotchtal region, all in the name of getting into character. I hear the habit she's having made by Heatherette is stunning...

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