Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Next Up: Paris Hilton Hurt In Coke Spoon Incident

Just now saw the best CNN headline ever:

"Lindsay Lohan Injured in Teacup Accident"

The convoluted and highly improbable story:
Lindsay Lohan was treated at a London hospital last week after she cut her leg in an accident at Bryan Adams' home, according to published reports.

The 19-year-old "Mean Girls" star had 10 stitches to close a gash on her shin after she slipped on a set of stairs Friday. Lohan was released from the hospital later that day, the reports said.

"She and her friends were preparing breakfast, with eggs and everything, and Lindsay was going up the stairs, carrying a ceramic teacup," her mother, Dina Lohan, was quoted as telling Star magazine.

"She had just come out of the shower so she was still wet and had some lotion on, and she completely flipped on the stairs since it was slippery. The teacup went flying, it was shattered, and one of the pieces cut Lindsay in her shin. It was an accident."

Bryan has now been inspired to release a new, updated version of his classic hit "Cuts Like A Knife," with different lyrics:

And it cuts like a cup
But it feels like love
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na

No word yet what in God's name Lindsay Lohan and a gaggle of her gal pals were doing having a slumber/tea party at Bryan Adams' house...

Anyone out there want to write some additional "Cuts Like A Cup" lyrics? If so, please leave them in the comments box! This blog isn't going to write itself, people!


greg said...

Comin’ down last Friday
Lindsay Lohan kept me up all night
She’s downstairs makin’ breakfast
Some scrambled eggs and tea would taste all right

Well, I know I’m almost fifty
And such a dalliance must seem uncouth
But those skinny legs and whiskey
Compensate me for my sad Canadian youth

She just came from the shower
Her bod was kind of slick
And that teacup did the trick
Now it cuts like a cup
Ooh, but it feels like love…

Anonymous said...

I guess you could say she took the nestea plunge!! wa ha. sorry .erica

jennifer said...

Greg, you have truly outdone yourself. Bravo! Bravo! And remember, it's all for one, and all for love...

Anonymous said...

Is it up to me to leave a "Shower of 69" comment?

Anonymous said...

Is it up to me to leave a "Shower of 69" comment?