Monday, February 06, 2006

Karl Krap!

From the NY Daily News comes this delightful report about everyone's favorite sneering Teutonic formerly-fat snob, Karl Lagerfeld:
There could a doozy of a catfight the next time Karl Lagerfeld crosses paths with Elton John. The Chanel designer viciously disses Elton's beloved Princess Diana in the new issue of New York magazine.

"She was pretty and she was sweet, but she was stupid," declares Lagerfeld, who apparently never heard about not speaking ill of the dead.

He much prefers Prince Charles' new wife. "The public does not know who Camilla is," he tells interviewer Vanessa Grigoriadis. "She is the life of the party! She's sparkling, she's witty, she's ready for everything, and not pretentious, not one bit. If you had to make a choice to live with somebody, this is the one."

Lagerfeld, who's expected in New York for fashion week, might want to steer clear of Lindsay Lohan, who's shooting in town.

The high-collared 67-year-old fashion baron dismisses rumors that the "Mean Girls" star might be the new face of Chanel. "I prefer Nicole Kidman and that generation," Lagerfeld says dryly.

He also won't be inviting Christina Aguilera back for a photo shoot. One member of his team remarks, "She is horrible! She did not even kiss Karl good-bye. She just sticks out her head from the door, 'Bye!'"

Then again, if you see him at Bryant Park, don't try to be too affectionate.

"In the whole world, there is nowhere I can go," the designer says. "In Japan, they touch me. I have Japanese women pinch my a—, so now I must say, 'You can have the photo, but please don't touch me.' You cannot pinch the a— of a man my age!"

And those dark sunglasses of his aren't just for protection from the sun.

"I cannot go out without something for my eyes, because someone might throw chemicals in my face."

Perhaps he's thinking of the animal activists who detest him for his furs.

At a recent Fendi party, a dreadlocked white guy snarled at him, "Blood for money, that's what Karl Lagerfeld wants. Karl is greedy! Karl is evil! Karl is wicked! Karl is … the Devil!"

The designer puckered his lips and replied, "You eat meat and wear leather, so shut up. I have no time for zis foolishness."

Wow. I had no idea that Karl had stolen my favorite expression, "I have no time for zis foolishness." I say that, like, 500 times a day. That's ok, though. I still heart Karl for being such a bitch. To quote Olympia Dukakis in "Steel Magnolias" (as is my wont): If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me!


Karl!

4 comments:

Lucinda said...

Karl is a stone freak! Have you heard the Nutella story? I can't remember where I first read it, but it was written by a journalist who was sitting in his office interviewing him. All I can find now is a paraphrasing of the story:

"Karl Lagerfeld works hard to maintain his super-skinny dieted body. He was spotted at his office recently, sitting at his desk, pulling out a jar of Nutella and spoon from a drawer. Karl then took a huge spoonful, swished it round his mouth for a while... then spat the chocolate spread back into the jar, which he then locked back into the drawer."

Apocryphal? Maybe. But I love it nonetheless. I can't look at a jar of Nutella and not think of Karl.

impychim said...

I can second the Nutella story I read it too. I think the original said "It vill make for a vunderful enema solution."

And, who'd want to grab his waggly, droopy bum? I mean, that's how I picture it to be. Not that I think about it much, but the image proposed itself...never mind.

jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jennifer said...

Perhaps you guys read about this
Here ?