Monday, January 16, 2006

I Would Rather Go Blind Than To See You Reading Another Blog


No, not really. I'm just always grasping at cleverish "blind item"-related straws. Straws, I say!

Anyhoo, here are the questions that Page Six is "just asking" this week:
WHICH pop-singing sensation likes to troll the Internet for gay quickies? After one unsafe session, his homo hook-up contacted a tabloid to sell his sordid story and offered a DNA-encrusted washcloth as proof. If the truth comes out, the singing idol's fans, mostly middle-aged housewives, will be very upset...

WHICH Oscar-winning actor is repeatedly unfaithful? He sleeps around so much, it's taking a toll on his long-suffering wife, a former beauty now looking stressed-out...

WHICH handsome network anchorman was holding hands with his former girlfriend, a model/actress, in Toronto? It wouldn't matter - if he hadn't reconciled with his wife.

OK, the first one is, as far as I can tell, the same old story about the "idol" whose name rhymes with Fey Shakin'. The second one, I do believe, refers to the humorless actor whose name rhymes with Yawn Men, and his decidedly stressed-out looking wife, Bobbin' Kite Men. The last one? I don't really know anything about anchormen. And are any of them actually "handsome," besides Anderson Cooper? And he is, I'm pretty sure, a confirmed bachelor, as they say...Maybe the fiery Latino anchorman from South of the Border whose name rhymes with Whore-hay Damone? He's hunky, and probably married. Hmmm...

Got any ideas out there? Funny rhyming names? Leave 'em in the comment box, for God's sake!

5 comments:

Deron Bauman said...

the first one that came to mind for the first one was vicky marshin. and don't all oscar winning actors sleep around on their wives? I thought it was part of the award.

impychimp said...

I'm pretty sure the anchorman reference is to Mr. Today Show Phat Flower.

Anonymous said...

The Oscar-winning actor could also be Frenzel Squashington. I heard on the radio that he's been cheatin' on his wife...

Terri R.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm....Clay Aiken, Sean Penn, Robin Wright Penn and Matt Lauer. Yes?

Anonymous said...

I've been up too late; Matt Lauer does not rhyme with that - Geez!