Wednesday, December 07, 2005

What Happens In Vegas...Oh, I Can't. I'm Sick To Death of That Slogan.

Today's lead Page Six story is all about the extra-sleazy goings-on of Mr. Brandon "The Oily-Haired Oil Heir" Davis, and his trials and tribulations as a compulsive gambler:
HOLLYWOOD party monster Brandon Davis is said to have exacted vengeance on the Hard Rock Hotel/Casino by winning $100,000 playing blackjack and craps at the Las Vegas playpen last weekend.

Davis, the former Mischa Barton boy toy and grandson of late Beverly Hills billionaire Marvin Davis, was banned from the Hard Rock back in 2002 after he blew through a $150,000 credit line and didn't pay his gambling debt fast enough.

Harry Morton, the son of Hard Rock owner Peter Morton and a childhood friend of Brandon, allegedly arranged for the credit line after Brandon turned 21.

But when Brandon didn't pay up, he and Harry stopped speaking to each other, and the resulting family feud froze relations between the Davises and the Mortons.

Marvin Davis, the oil magnate who once owned 20th Century Fox, used to eat every night with his wife, Barbara, at Mortons, the L.A. power-dining spot owned by the Morton family. But the Davises took their business elsewhere after the Mortons started dunning them over Brandon's bad debt.

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I'm tellin' ya, thar's OIL in them hairs!

OK, so far, so bad. Are we really supposed to feel sorry for lil' Brandon because he couldn't pay back a $150,000 line of credit to a casino? A line of credit that was a personal favor from an old friend? But wait, just when you thought it couldn't get any tackier:
Tom Arnold, who was Brandon's sobriety coach, told PAGE SIX after he was banned from the casino: "He's really turned his life around. This was a nasty thing for Peter Morton to do to him. Brandon sold everything he owned to pay this debt back."

But Brandon was back in Vegas last weekend partying with "Girls Gone Wild" guru Joe Francis, who was in town to catch the Jermain Taylor/Bernard Hopkins middleweight championship fight on Saturday night. Francis — who was luxuriating at his mansion in Mexico yesterday and could not be reached — apparently booked the $10,000-a-night "Real World" penthouse suite at the Palms Hotel/Casino.

It's unclear whether the ban on Davis was lifted or whether he got around it. But a Hard Rock spokeswoman tried to cast doubt on whether he actually made that supposed six-figure score.

"The Hard Rock Hotel & Casino has a policy of not commenting on its customers winning or losing money," she said. "However, with Mr. Davis, there is usually a disparity between reality and rhetoric."

Good God, man! Tom Arnold, Joe Francis--is there no end to your depravity? It's all, not to mention icky ick. And if you are, indeed a billionaire, why did you have to sell everything you own to pay back $150,000?

And the burning question on a nation's lips: What in the name of all things holy did Mischa "I'm Acting As Fast As I Can--No Make That As Slowly As I Can" Barton ever see in you? And why is she now dating Kim "Jen Aniston Is Homely" Stewart's sloppy seconds, Cisco "I Never Met A Headband I Didn't Like" Adler?

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Cisco, his headband, and his lady.

I think the United Nations should immmediately set up a fact-finding commission to get to the bottom of these questions, once and for all!


impychimp said...

Is that Lily Tomlin?

femme feral said...

WHAT does she see in him. he is so gross.