Thursday, December 01, 2005

Shrinky Dinks

Jeannette Walls is reporting in her Scoop column that:
Britney Spears is reportedly looking to powers beyond to solve her marital woes. She’s said to have consulted a psychic.

The singer sought help from the supernatural after her hubby, Kevin Federline, reportedly refused to see a therapist.

“She’s willing to have a third party arbitrate the problems,” a friend told the upcoming issue of Life & Style Weekly, but her spouse of 15 months allegedly refused, saying, “That’s for crazy people. If you want to see a shrink, go by yourself.”
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So Brit went to the psychic. “She wants to know if Kevin will cheat, if they’ll have another child and if the marriage will last,” the pal said. Spears, who is said to be up for a role in Broadway’s “Sweet Charity,” also asked the psychic if it would be a good idea to find a role in the play for her hubby, according to the mag. The psychic said that would just mean more problems. Spears’ rep didn’t return calls for comment.

In happier news, Spears reportedly went on a shopping spree in ABC Carpet in Manhattan and dropped $30,000 at Michal Negrin’s jewelry shop there in less than a half an hour. “She was sweet and polite,” a store employee reported. “She just went in and out.”

Well, it does make sense for The Federlines; crazy people see shrinks, and trashy crazy people go to gypsy fortune-tellers on the side of the road.

Looky here, K-Fed even managed to find a psychic who looks like Brits:

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I wonder what else the happy couple asked her? I bet they went in separately, and perhaps it went somthing like this:

Britney: "Will Kevvie-Wevvie spend 'every last penny of my money,' like my momma keeps tellin' me? And how many pennies do I got, anyways?"

K-Fed: "How many Benjamins will my woman generate in the next five years? And could you tell me in a way I can understand, yo? Like, how many Ed Hardy trucker hats is that? Word."

Britney: "Do guys still think I'm hot? They do, don't they? Yeah, they do. You don't have to even answer that one, I already know." (nervous laugh)

K-Fed: "Will my wife ever be as hot as when we met? She's lost some baby weight, but damn! It ain't the same! She used to be as fine as the babes at Hooters, and now she's gone all Mommie McChub on me. Word."

Britney: "Are Justin and whatsername going to get married? Like, I wanna yell, 'Ha, ha! I win! Ya'll lose! I got married first! AND HAD A SWEET PRECIOUS BAAAAAAAAABY!' But then somethin' tells me they'd just laugh at me. I'm not sure why, exactly...."

K-Fed: "Are their any of them pavarottis outside this mobile home? I gots to be careful, they all be chasin' me around, tryin' to snap my picture and hear my rhymes before they drop. Word."

And so on.

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