According to the NY Daily News:
Once, she told papa not to preach. But now, at 47, Madonna has come down from the mount with a message for you sinners.
People "are going to go to hell, if they don't turn from their wicked behavior," the singer proclaims in her new film, "I'm Going to Tell You a Secret."
Despite her many homes, the former Material Girl says she has renounced "the material world. The physical world. The world of illusion, that we think is real. We live for it, we're enslaved by it. And it will ultimately be our undoing."
Reading from Scripture at one point in the film, the mother of two — who won't let her children watch TV or eat ice cream — says, "I refer to an entity called 'The Beast.' I feel I am describing the world that we live in right now."
Is there anything more tedious than a faux-British gazillionaire jet-setting "reformed" sloot-n-whooore lecturing us non-mystical plebes on the dangers of the Beast known as Materialism?
God, I loathe Madonna. At least back in the good ole days, she was fun. Canoodling with Ice-T and Dennis Rodman! Cone bras! Naughty pictures! Cheeky videos! Gays! Now, she's just insufferable. A holier-than-thou sanctimonious frump. I hate her, I say.
I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!
Get off your high horse, Mrs. Thang! Sorry, Mrs. Old Thang...
And one more thing: I might respect what you have to say if you actually went to the trouble of converting to Judaism. But that would take up too much of your precious time in this world of illusion, eh, Your Holiness?
I HATE HER SO MUCH I CAN'T STAND IT.
By the way, Gwen Stefani called and she wants her album back...
Note to Madge: When you feel the need to copy Gwen S., it's time to hang it up once and for all, and stick to being an uptight ersatz-English school marm killjoy. It's what you do best. Sort of.