Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Pot, Meet Kettle

Boy, Madonna's new documentary "I'm Going To Tell You A Secret" sounds like the good-time movie of the year! Whoo-hoo! Par-tay! I'm vogueing as fast as I can!

According to the NY Daily News:
Once, she told papa not to preach. But now, at 47, Madonna has come down from the mount with a message for you sinners.

People "are going to go to hell, if they don't turn from their wicked behavior," the singer proclaims in her new film, "I'm Going to Tell You a Secret."

Despite her many homes, the former Material Girl says she has renounced "the material world. The physical world. The world of illusion, that we think is real. We live for it, we're enslaved by it. And it will ultimately be our undoing."

Reading from Scripture at one point in the film, the mother of two — who won't let her children watch TV or eat ice cream — says, "I refer to an entity called 'The Beast.' I feel I am describing the world that we live in right now."

Is there anything more tedious than a faux-British gazillionaire jet-setting "reformed" sloot-n-whooore lecturing us non-mystical plebes on the dangers of the Beast known as Materialism?

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God, I loathe Madonna. At least back in the good ole days, she was fun. Canoodling with Ice-T and Dennis Rodman! Cone bras! Naughty pictures! Cheeky videos! Gays! Now, she's just insufferable. A holier-than-thou sanctimonious frump. I hate her, I say.

I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!

Get off your high horse, Mrs. Thang! Sorry, Mrs. Old Thang...

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And one more thing: I might respect what you have to say if you actually went to the trouble of converting to Judaism. But that would take up too much of your precious time in this world of illusion, eh, Your Holiness?

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By the way, Gwen Stefani called and she wants her album back...

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Note to Madge: When you feel the need to copy Gwen S., it's time to hang it up once and for all, and stick to being an uptight ersatz-English school marm killjoy. It's what you do best. Sort of.


porkmuffin said...

i used to like Madonna. sort of. i liked that "La Isla Bonita" song. i liked "Holiday" and that Truth or Dare movie where she tried to seduce Antonio Banderas. but now Madonna is a creep. CREEPY McCREEPSTER.

sharon W. said...

Tell us how you reeealllly feel!

Anonymous said...

and dont forget her faux british accent. what a hypocrite freak she has become. guess she has too much money and time on her hands. i never get the people who repent at the zero hour. she is a big part of the machine. after all the sh*t she has pulled...if she really was repentant she would give pepsi all the money she got from the ad that was pulled because her and her video were too hot for tv. hummphh!!! oh and congrats on the not choking to death! love erica

Lucinda said...

Such vitriol! YOU ARE DELICIOUS!

Anonymous said...

Get a life bitch.....if you can't stand how Madonna acts, just turn off your tv and get laid! With a man or woman, I don't care...

jennifer said...

Dear Anonymous (if that IS your real name),

The same right back at you! If you don't like what I write, why not turn off the computer and get laid, preferably by youself?

Felt Up Blogette?