Thursday, October 13, 2005

Doin' It And Doin' It And Doin' It Well

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Wow. Let me take a moment to wipe a wee tear from me eye, as I am overcome with feelings of admiration for all three of you loyal Felt Up readers out there. In your quest to answer the Popbitch blind item about a gay rap icon, you even did research on the internets! There. I'm officially verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. Here's a topic: While hip-hop is certainly hip, it doesn't really hop anymore. Discuss.

OK, I'm better. First of all, the vast majority (two out of three) said LL Cool J was the gay guy of the hour. Terri R. went against the herd and picked Ice-T, and due to the fascinating article reader Tim sent in and its mention of Ice's song "No Vaseline," Terri R. may have a point...

Interestingly, Gawker posted the same blind item, and its readers also picked LL:
By a landslide, the Anderson Cooper of this contest was LL Cool J — as many of you pointed out, just because the Ladies Love Cool James, it doesn’t necessarily follow that he loves them back. One intrepid commenter even did some actual research, revealing that LL is currently on tour.

We enjoyed the Kanye West guesses, because as we all know, speaking out against homophobia = totally gay. Best response: “Isn’t he quoted as saying ‘George Bush doesn’t care about gay black people?’”

A couple votes for Wyclef Jean (tell it to Lauren Hill), Ja Rule, 50 Cent (he will probably kill us now), Eminem (he will probably record a very sarcastic song about us now), Usher (rap legend?), Vanilla Ice, Nelly (he is famously sweaty, due to the extreme temperatures he often has to endure), Diddy, an out-of-left-field vote for Ice-T, one indie vote for Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, Jay-Z, Dr. Dre, and Kool Keith.

Very few rappers were not named, in fact. But you may rest easy tonight knowing that no one cast any aspersions on the manhood of Flavor Flav.

It's kind of nice to know us hicks in sticks have the same snarky sensiblities as our big city cousins. I think. Maybe it's horrible...

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Either way, this whole thing is a) kinda hott, and b) gives new meaning to "I'm That Type of Guy," not to mention "Big Ole Butt"...


Anonymous said...

Ice T did not release "No Vaseline". That was Ice Cube. Cube had gone out on his own at this point and NWA was no longer.It was a song getting back and Dre, Yella, and Eazy E for selling out that essentially said they were letting themselves get screwed in the ass with "no vaseline". There was quite a bit a smack being talked about each other by these guys at this time. Eazy E, by the way, died of complications to HIV, so....he may have been literally getting it in the ass. Who knows?

jennifer said...

Thank you, Anonymous, for setting the record straight, as it were.

I think I was so excited about the prospect of a gay Ice T that I didn't read the article right.

Also I have a tendency to get my Ices mixed up...

lang squalk said...

So who is the gay rapper? Did you already say it is definately LL? I can't read.

I mean come on, we all know eminem is the biggest fag on earth, so he doesn't even count. I'm sure he begs Dre to fist him all the time, in that irritating whine of his. "Cleaning out my clost" indeed.

I kinda think it's Snoop Dogg. BUt Nelly- I mean really- his name is NELLY for christsake!