Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Do You Believe In Magic?

David Copperfield, illusionist, magic man, and extremely creepy ex-boyfriend of Claudia Schiffer, plans to impregnate a woman on stage in his new act, according to ananova.com:
David Copperfield says he plans to impregnate a girl on stage - without even touching her.

Speaking to German magazine Galore, the illusionist rejected the theory that there were only seven different kinds of magic tricks.

He said: "Bull s**t! There is a great deal of new territory to conquer. In my next show I'm going to make a girl pregnant on stage."

He added: "Naturally it will be without sex. Everyone will be happy about it, but I'm not telling you any more."

The magician is currently on tour in Germany with his show, An Intimate Evening of Grand Illusion.

Huh, that's interesting. Because I heard that Katie "Our Lady of the Immaculate Turkey Baster" Holmes just announced that she will be giving an extra-special, one-time only treat to audiences of Copperfield's "An Intimate Evening of Grand Illusion" in approximately six and a half months!

Yes, she will live out the childhood dream of every young girl by appearing onstage with a sinister-yet-cheesey master illusionist, "magically" becoming pregnant, and giving birth in complete and utter silence, without painkillers, before a hushed crowd of German magic buffs whose E-meter readings have passed muster with Tom Cruise's sister.

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Blessed are the children!

1 comment:

Lucinda said...

I believe Claudia Schiffer was a "hired" gf, a la Miss Holmes.

A friend of a friend did some work in Vegas and signed a confidentiality agreement that he would not divulge that David Copperfield wears foam padding to approximate an ass, pecs and shoulders/biceps. Apparently, he is THAT skeletal. Sorry, friend of a friend is the best I can do.