Monday, October 31, 2005

The Blind Items of Alabama

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No, the blind items in today's post are not actually from Alabama, and they are not in anyway related to adorable old gospel singers who can't see. I'm just running out of headline puns, OK? I'm grasping at straws, people! I'm sorry! It's a busy day for me, all right? Stop judging me. You're not my father!

Anywho, in reality these blind items are from New York, from Page Six, naturally, and they aren't all that hard, I'm afraid, but they are still delightful calorie-free Halloween treats!

First up, Page Six asks:
WHICH swishy pop star who won't admit he's gay is dating a well-known interior designer? The decorator is recovering from his previous boyfriend's tragic death, while the pop star is equally despondent about his ailing career . . .

Hmmmm. Methinks the pop star in question's name might just rhyme with Gay Quakin', but any other guesses would be appreciated, people!

And then Page Six begs the question:
WHICH stunning blonde lawyer doesn't know everything about her husband-to-be? Maybe she'll find out after the wedding that he likes to have threesomes.

This one is a teensy more difficult. I hope and pray that it's the evil right-wing succubus from hell whose name rhymes with Man Bolter, although I can't imagine anyone describing her as "stunning." And if it is the devil's own Blonde Demoness, I certainly hope her husband-to-be is into kinkier activities than just boring ole three-ways. Like extreme partner humiliation, say, or better yet, partner asphyxiation.

Did I just say that? Oh, well, tra la la!

Anyone disagree with my guesses? Have a better rhyming name?

For God's sake, leave them in the comments box!


Anonymous said...

I prefer to think the swishy pop star is Icky Fartin. And the interior designer could be Mod Foldham.

Terri R.

Anonymous said...

I think the designer is probably Nate Berkus, Oprah's little gay buddy. His boyfriend died in the Indonesian tsunami.

porkmuffin said...

there is no way Nate Berkus is gay because i love him. LOVE HIM. YES I AM CREEPY, BUT HE IS MINE.

ok, he's totally gay and i agree that Nate is who the blind item is about.

sharon W. said...

swishy pop star is definitely Icky Martin and Nate cute cute cutie Berkus. I only know this because Gay Aiken's career is going strong for some unknown reason.

Anonymous said...

I am the one who first nominated Nate Berkus as the designer, and I agree with Porkmuffin and Sharon that Nate being gay is such a horrible waste that I can't even think about it. Why, why, why? I think he needs to change teams, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

porkmuffin said...

oh yes i do... (sigh)

jennifer said...

So are we agreed that Icky Fartin' is more likely than Gay Fakin'?

Lang Squal said...

"Did I just say that? Oh, well, tra la la!"

OK that cracked me up!