Friday, September 09, 2005

When Monchichis Attack!

Page Six is reporting that Mary-Kate "Monchichi" Olsen went into a jealous rage on the cell phone in public recently :
Mini-mogul Mary-Kate Olsen is furious at hot model May Andersen for hitting on her ex, David Katzenberg, we're told.

The other day our spy spotted Olsen on a TriBeCa street corner screaming into her cellphone about the duplicitous Danish delight.

"I'll kill that [bleep]ing slut!" Olsen screeched to her pal.

Olsen and Katzenberg, son of toothy Hollywood heavyweight Jeffrey Katzenberg, broke up last year, but her feelings for him are obviously still strong.

More recently she's been linked to gargantuan Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos III.

If Andersen, a party-loving gal with a body built for sin, is doing the nasty with Katzenberg, it must mean her relationship with "Jackass" star Steve-O has fizzled.

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MK and David in happier times...

Heh. I like it when lil' itty bitty control-freak anorexics lose their shit. It's so refreshing! Although, as I pointed out to Friend of Felt Up Terri R. just the other day during one of our daily promenades de chien, I don't exactly understand the national obsession with the Olsen Twins. I find them dull. They don't really do anything, do they? I mean besides going to college (sometimes), not eating, and ruling over a multi-billion dollar 'tween industry with their tiny iron fists? I have no idea what their speaking voices sound like. Do they still sing and dance? Make videos? What is their "talent"? All I know for sure about them is which one is "The Fat One" (that would be Ashley, duh!)

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(via low culture)

I do appreciate MK's contribution to the world of fashion, however. She has revolutionized le mode du bag lady, single-handedly taking it out of dirty back alleys, Calcutta shantytowns, and hobo camps down by the railroad tracks, and bringing it to a Forever 21 near you! It's really a remarkable achievement.

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This little item also brings up a troubling point: How on Earth does Steve-O keep getting all these hot chicks? I'm truly puzzled by this. The dude had his buttcheeks pierced together on "Jackass," for the love of sweet baby Jesus! He is a circus freak. And not a good-looking circus freak, either. Very curious...yes, curious I say!

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May "Party-loving gal with a body built for sin" Anderson and her former "doing the nasty" partner, the inexplicable Steve-O.

Is there something going on I don't know about, or what? Hmmmm....

1 comment:

femme feral said...

I think one of the reasons people find the Olsen twins interesting is because they're like this weird experiment; they've been working since day one -- capitalism in a test tube times two!!!

It's strange, because as a rabid consumer of celebrity gossip, I sometimes feel somehow implicated when these people -- especially kids -- have all these problems that are clearly the result of being deprived of any sort of normal childhood. But then I remember how rich they are, and I don't feel so bad. And at the end of the day -- no matter what it is -- I either blame george bush or tom cruise.